The Past Nine Years
by breatheactsing123
Summary: My opinion on what happened in the nine-year interim between the original run and A Year in The Life. LL centric.
1. Chapter 1

Lorelai Gilmore pulled herself off of the bathroom floor and walked slowly into the bedroom she and Luke had shared for the past two years since they had gotten back together shortly after her daughter Rory's college graduation party. For the past two years, things had been great. Spectacular, even. She had found her way back to the man who had always loved her, her daughter was blazing trails and making a name for herself in the journalism world, her own business was thriving. She was happy. So happy, that the world just had to throw her a curveball, apparently. She picked up her cell phone off of her nightstand and dialed the number to the diner, letting it ring for a few moments before her boyfriend's voice sounded through the line.

"Luke's." He said gruffly.

"Hey, it's me." She said in a shaky voice, sitting down beside the bed.

"Hey, you okay? What's wrong?"

"Yeah, I'm okay. Can you just, uh. Can you just come home please? When it's not busy. I'm sure it's the middle of the breakfast rush now but just when you have a second."

"I'll be there in ten."

"It's not, you don't need to run home. I'm okay." She said unconvincingly.

"Lorelai, whatever has got you this torn-up sounding is a hell of a lot more important to me than the diner. I'll be home in a second."

"I'll see you soon." Lorelai responded weakly, and the line went dead. She paced around her room until she heard the front door swing open, Luke's voice and the clomping of his boots on the floor coming with it.

"Lorelai?" He called.

"Upstairs!" She called back, biting her lip nervously. He swung open the door urgently, crossing the room to be next to her in two strides.

"Hey, what's wrong? Are you okay? Is Rory okay? You've got me worried sick here."

"Luke, breathe. Everyone is okay."

"Then what's got you so upset?" Luke asked, staring into her eyes desperately.

"I, uh. I have something to give to you. We haven't really talked about it, and it's big. If you don't want it, that's fine, and I understand, but I'm not getting rid of it. And that's final."

"Lorelai…" Luke said, trying to make sense of her nervous ramblings.

"Hold on, I'll be right back." She said, retreating into the bathroom to receive the pregnancy test she'd taken just minutes before. She handed it to him without so much as flinching, but Luke could tell by looking in her eyes just how scared she was.

"So uh, I don't know what all those lines mean, but I'm willing to bet you wouldn't be handing me this if it were negative."

"You'd be correct. And Luke, if you don't want this, I understand. I won't judge you for it. I get it. But I'm keeping it. I can't, not after everything I went through with Rory. I can do this on my-"

Luke cut her off by kissing her, not wanting to hear the rest of her sentence. "'Marry me." He blurted out.

"What?"

"Marry me, Lorelai. God, your face right now just about killed me. Thinking I would leave you over this. Lorelai, I am never leaving again, you understand that? I will never so much as think about leaving. I want you to be as sure of that as humanly possible."

Lorelai smiled sadly and put a hand on the side of Luke's face.

"Do you really mean all of that?"

"Of course I do." He said, grasping her free hand in one of his.

"That's enough for me." She said simply.

"What?" He asked, confused.

"Luke, you and I don't exactly have the best track records with engagements or marriages, even. Just being with you is enough for me. Knowing that you're all in, that you aren't going to bolt when things get hard."

"I'm all in, Lorelai. I've always been all in." He assured her.

"Good. Does that mean you're happy about-"

"Happy doesn't even begin to cover it. I'm ecstatic. This is all I've ever wanted. To do it the right way from the beginning with the woman I love."

"It's definitely going to be different this time around." Lorelai agreed, looking at her lap. Luke tilted her chin up and kissed her again.

"What's going on in that pretty head of yours?" He asked, tucking a stray piece of hair behind her ear.

"It's just going to be different. Doing it all with a partner. I was pretty much on my own the first time. Chris never even met Rory's doctor or mine." Lorelai admitted, looking at her lap as if she was ashamed for what Christopher had done.

"It's not going to be like that this time." he promised her. "I'm going to be at every appointment. I'll take any damn class I need to take. I'm going to be the best man possible for you and for our baby."

"God, our baby. Gave me chills." Lorelai smiled up at him.

"Pretty freaking cool, isn't it?" He smiled back.

"Yeah. Pretty freaking cool." She agreed.

"What made you think you might be-"

"I was peeing a lot. I ate a piece of avocado toast yesterday, and I normally hate avocados."

"They're good for you."

"With Rory it was apples."

"What?"

"I craved them. I kept them in my room it was so bad. I walked around with them in my purse. I crave healthy food when I'm pregnant."

"You mean all this time i've been trying to get you to eat healthy, all I had to do was knock you up?" He teased.

"Seems that way."

"Should have done this years ago," he murmured as he kissed her neck slowly.

"Don't you have a business to get back to?" She teased.

"And leave the mother of my child all alone? Caesar can handle it."

"Good enough for me."

"Like I could really go back there now," he smiled, kissing her again.


	2. Chapter 2

A few weeks later, Luke and Lorelai were moving through their normal morning routine: Luke was getting dressed in the bedroom while Lorelai was brushing her teeth in the bathroom.

"You coming in for lunch today?" Luke asks, just as he does every morning, even though the answer is always yes. Lorelai spit her toothpaste before answering.

"Sorry babe, not today. I have a doctor's appointment."

"Doctor's appointment?"

"Yeah, just a confirmation ultrasound. We think I'm about eight weeks, so…"

"Were you gonna tell me?"

"Your tone has me thinking that the right answer is 'yes.'"

"Lorelai!"

"Sweetheart, my appointment is in the middle of the rush, and you're not even going to be able to tell that it's a baby in there. It's going to look like a kidney bean."

"Well, I like kidney beans better than you do." Luke grumbled.

'Luke," Lorelai whined.

"Can I come? Am I allowed to come?" Luke asked, his tone changing from petulant to pleading.

"Oh, Luke, of course you are!" Lorelai clarified immediately. "I just figured with my appointment being during the rush-"

"Lorelai, nothing is more important to me than you and this baby, okay? I would burn the diner down if that was what I had to do for the two of you. I meant it when I said I wanted to do it the right way this time. I want to be at this appointment, and every appointment after."

"Okay. I'm sorry, I should have told you."

"I'm not mad, I just want to make it clear that this is important to me."

"It is. I know it is."

"Good."

"Can we tell Rory today? After the appointment?"

"You're asking me?" Luke clarified, a little stunned.

"Well, it's your kidney bean too."

"Well, yeah, but Rory was your kidney bean."

"Rory's your bean, too. Yours more than be Christopher's. We all know that. But that's not what we're talking about. I just want to tell her. We tell each other everything. I know it's still early, but even if anything were to happen, I'd want her to know."

"Lorelai, you can't seriously think I'd stop you from telling Rory."

"No, I guess not, but like I said, it's your bean, too. You should probably be involved in who we do and don't tell and when."

"Well I vote that you tell Rory."

"Okay, we'll tell Rory about the kidney bean."

"We'll have to use that as a code for as long as we're not telling people." Luke remarked teasingly.

"Luke, it has the word "kid" right in it. We won't fool many people with that one."

"Lima bean?"

"Ugh, gross. Black bean?"

"I'm going to have to have a serious talk with the mailman if it's a black bean." Luke said dryly.

"Luke!" Lorelai gasped, stifling a laugh.

"Stop distracting me, crazy lady. I've got to get ready for work. I'll come to the Inn and pick you up later?"

"Sounds good babe."

True to his word, Luke swung by the Inn around 12:30 to pick up Lorelai. He walked through the familiar doorway and saw Lorelai standing behind the reception desk, leaning over to explain a hiking trail on a map to a leaf peeper who had come to see the foliage. He hung back, watching her in her element. She must have cracked some sort of joke, because the woman she was talking to threw her head back in laughter, and Lorelai flashed a bright smile, reveling in the other woman's reaction. The woman expressed her thanks and went on her way, and Lorelai looked up to see Luke standing in the doorway.

"Hey, handsome. Checking in?"

"Yeah, but I never learned my numbers. I think I'll need you to walk me to my room. Maybe even directly to the bed. Just so I don't get lost. Purely a safety precaution."

"Oh, well if it's just a safety precaution." Lorelai played into his banter.

"Ready to go?" Luke asked, reaching for Lorelai's hand.

"Yeah, just let me tell Michel I'm leaving." she said, flitting into the office only for a moment and returning with her purse. She took his hand and they walked out of the inn together. Once they made it out the door, Lorelai spoke up again. "Sookie's suspicious."

"Suspicious how?"

"Well she saw you come in and she knows I have a doctor's appointment, so now she thinks I'm either pregnant or dying, because it's not like you'd come with me to a routine check-up." Lorelai explained.

"Maybe I'm just becoming one of those guys who never lets his girl out of his sight." Luke teased.

"That might actually be worse."

"And it's not like I have the energy to keep up with you anyway."

"I want to tell her, but she'd tell Jackson and then the whole town would know. It's too early." Lorelai complained.

"We'll just hold off as long as we can. People are bound to ask questions." Luke answered rationally.

"Why do you say that?' Lorelai asked, confused.

"Well, just the fact that you've stopped drinking coffee has been raising plenty of eyebrows." Luke explained.

"I guess you're right."

"We'll take it as it comes. Don't worry about it."

"That's much easier said than done, mister."

"I know, I know. But think about it. What's the worst thing that can happen if they find out?"

"I don't know. I don't want to think about worst-case scenarios right now." Lorelai said as Luke pulled into the hospital parking lot. "Let's just go in, yeah?" she said, flashing Luke a smile that didn't quite reach her eyes as she opened her car door.

Luke could tell that something was up, but he knew better than to bring it up now. So he said nothing, one of his strong suits, and wrapped his arm around Lorelai's waist as they walked into the hospital together. Without saying a word, he told Lorelai "I'm here, I'm not leaving, and everything is going to be okay." Lorelai visibly relaxed as she settled into him, and he didn't let her go until they'd sat down in waiting room chairs with their paperwork, at which point he removed his arm from her waist and took her hand in his.

"Ms. Gilmore?" A woman said as she came into the waiting room. The two stood up and walked over to her, handing over the clipboard of medical information. "Follow me, you two." She said, leading them to an examination room and handing Lorelai a sheet. "You know what to do, yes?" the nurse asked, looking at Lorelai.

"Yeah, I'm all set, thank you."

"Great. I'll send Dr. Sullivan in as soon as she's done with the patient she's with now."

"Thank you," Luke and Lorelai both said as she exited the room, giving them their privacy while they waited. Luke looked up at Lorelai, who was staring anxiously at her stomach.

"No bump yet," he said, trying not to talk about anything too heavy but not wanting her to be left to spiral into whatever thoughts were occupying her.

"No, probably not for a few more weeks."

"But we know there's a baby in there. You and me and nobody else."

"Well, you and me and that nurse and Dr. Sullivan." She joked, and Luke smiled a little. "And the nurse who ran my blood last time, and-"

"Medical professionals don't count."

"Medical professionals don't count. You and me and nobody else." She repeated.

Just then, there was a quick knock on the door, and Dr. Sullivan swung the door open. "Lorelai, how are you?" She said brightly. "And you must be Luke." The doctor said, turning her attention and extending her hand to the only man in the room. Luke shook her hand and smiled.

"I'm doing okay." Lorelai told her doctor. "You know, the usual. Morning sickness, heartburn. Not so much dizziness this time around, but that's probably just because I spend less time on my feet now."

"Is the morning sickness as bad as it was with your last pregnancy?"

"It doesn't last as long into the day as it did last time, but it wakes me up in the middle of the night. Or the early morning, I guess. Morning sickness, so." Lorelai joked.

Luke was surprised to hear that Lorelai wasn't feeling well. Not once had he stirred when she left the bed in the middle of the night. She'd never complained to him about heartburn or dizziness.

"Everything sounds good, Lorelai. There are a few risks I need to go over with you, but before we do, I just want to remind you that it's perfectly normal for a healthy 42-year-old woman to deliver a healthy, full term baby."

"Risks?" Luke asked, taking Lorelai's hand.

"It's amazing how their ears just turn off after they hear one of those big, bad words." The doctor joked, and Lorelai gave her a weak smile in response. "I'm not worried about any of these things yet, but you should know that you're at an increased risk for preeclampsia, so I really need you to watch your blood pressure. Additionally, the risk of miscarriage for someone your age is 46%. But again, it's only my job as a responsible healthcare professional to warn you about these things. I'm really not worried about them yet and I don't want you to be. Now, let's get a look at that baby, shall we?" The doctor breezed through her medical concerns, or non-concerns, and turned to the ultrasound machine in the corner of the room. She pulled the gel container out of it's holder and squirted a little bit into her gloved hand to get the flow going.

"You know the drill, this will be a little cold." Dr. Sullivan said as she squeezed the gel over Lorelai's not-yet-distended stomach. Lorelai squeezed Luke's hand briefly as the doctor spread the gel and turned on the machine.

"Your little bugger is camera shy," Dr. Sullivan giggled as she struggled to find a good angle.

"Kidney bean. We've been calling the bugger a kidney bean."

"That's pretty accurate, size-wise." Dr Sullivan remarked as she got the angle she wanted. "Aha! There we go. That-" She said, pointing to a small grey blob on the screen. "Is your kidney bean."

"Oh, Luke." Lorelai said softly, almost reverently. "Look at it's little nose."

"He's sucking his thumb," Dr. Sullivan said almost as dreamily.

"He?" Luke asked.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I go back and forth with hes and she's until the gender is decided. There's no gender as of yet. Not until about 22 weeks. So, no son. But you've got a baby."

"We've got a baby." Luke smiled.

"I'll print off a few of these and let you get cleaned up." Dr. Sullivan smiled as she left the room, giving them a little privacy. Lorelai immediately started dabbing at the gel with a paper towel, but Luke put a hand over hers, stopping her.

"Luke-" she started to protest but stopped when she saw the look in his eyes.

"We have a baby," he said, whispering it as if it were a secret and the room were bugged.

"We do," Lorelai confirmed.

"We have a baby," he said again, smiling wider than he had been.

"Yeah, we do." Lorelai confirmed once more before Luke leaned in and started to kiss her. After a moment, there was a knock on the door, and Luke and Lorelai had to separate and go back to dabbing the pesky gel off of her stomach as if that was what they had been doing all along. Dr. Sullivan said nothing, and instead handed Lorelai an envelope. "Here are your pictures. Make an appointment to see me in the beginning of your second trimester. Congratulations, lovebirds."


	3. Chapter 3

_**A/N: Just so y'all are a aware, there's a bit of swearing in this chapter if you're sensitive to that!**_

While the drive back home from the doctor's appointment was at first marked by a revenant kind of silence, the revenance faded back to reality as the familiar shapes of Stars Hollow started to flash by when Lorelai and Luke looked out the windows.

"Lorelai," Luke started softly, in his usual gruff tone of voice.

"Yeah?"

"Are you getting up in the middle of the night and getting sick, and then crawling back into bed with me and pretending like it didn't happen?" Luke asked.

"Well, I brush my teeth first." Lorelai responded, getting defensive.

"Brush your- Lorelai, this isn't about brushing your teeth. Why haven't you been waking me? You've just been sitting in the dark getting sick while I snoozed away in the next room?"

"It's not a big deal."

"Yes it is, Lorelai."

"Luke, I've done this before. I can handle this. There's nothing you can do to help anyway."

"Lorelai, you are carrying my child. When you wake up in the middle of the night to get sick, I am going to hold your hair. I am going to rub your back and let you curse me out for doing this to you. I am going to make you a cup of peppermint tea and force feed you saltines. I know you've done this before. I know you can handle this. But you're not going it alone this time. You don't need to sneak out of bed or lie to me when I ask you if you're feeling okay. We're partners, Lorelai, and you're doing a hell of a lot of the work right now. Let me help you. I just want to help you."

"It was so hard." Lorelai whispered, so faint that Luke almost didn't hear it. He snuck a glance at her and took a hand off of the wheel to squeeze it in hers. "It was so hard because it was a secret at first, it was my secret, I didn't even tell Christopher until the first trimester was over. And then it was still a secret, because he didn't want to talk about it, he didn't want me to tell anyone, but I had to tell my parents, eventually, and it was just so hard. I was so alone. But I did it, damn it. They told me I couldn't do it so I said "fucking watch me." I did it, Luke. I did it."

Luke was taken aback, and he didn't respond for a second. He knew she didn't need her to. Admittedly, he was a little bit shocked. Neither he or Lorelai were huge on swearing, he could probably count on one hand the number of times before this that he'd heard Lorelai swear like that. They didn't talk about either of their pasts, simply for the fact that it was their pasts: they addressed it when it came up, but they chose to focus on their future. After a moment, Luke piped in again.

"I know, Lorelai. I know. You did it. You did it, and nobody can take that away from you. But it doesn't have to be hard this time. It doesn't have to be a secret, it doesn't have to be isolating. I'm here, okay? I'm here."

"I'm scared, Luke." Lorelai admitted softly.

"Scared of what, sweetheart?" He asks, just as soft, as if increasing the volume of his voice will pop the safe bubble he'd managed to create.

"I'm old." She said plainly, and if it had been in any other circumstance Luke would have laughed, but right now he wouldn't dare.

"If you're old, then I'm historic."

"You're only four years older than me. And you're not the one carrying a baby."

"Lorelai, you're only 42. 42-year-olds have healthy babies all the time. Hell, people older than you and me both have healthy babies."

"54% of the time. 54% of the time they have a baby. That's not even a healthy baby, that's a baby."

"That's more than half. I like those odds." Luke tried to console her.

"What if the baby's sick, Luke? What if the baby's disabled? What if I screw up our baby because I couldn't get my act together and marry you four years ago when I said I would?"

"Hey, Lorelai, hey, stop it. You aren't going to screw up. Sometimes things happen and babies get sick. We'll cross that bridge when we get there. But I know that our baby's going to be okay."

"How do you know? How can you be so sure?"

"They've got the best mom." He said simply.

"Don't patronize me." Lorelai huffed, willing the tears at the corners of her eyes not to fall.

"I'm not patronizing you. I know for a fact that from day one you fought tooth and nail to make sure Rory had everything she ever needed, everything she ever wanted. Am I wrong?"

"I did my best. She could have had better if-"

"She didn't need better. She needed you. She needed her mom. And if you need to blame somebody for not being able to get their act together, blame me. I could have asked you out fifteen years ago when I met you, but I didn't. The reasons it took us so long to get together are on me, all of them. Okay?"

"That's not true, that's not true and you know it. The night I went to-"

"Hey, hey, we don't need to rehash that right now. And regardless, if I had asked you out fifteen years ago, we'd be so far past this that going back to him would seem outrageous."

"It was outrageous."

"Lorelai, are you going to do your best to make sure our baby is happy and healthy?"

"Yes," Lorelai answered without even thinking.

"Do you trust me to do my best to make sure our baby is happy and healthy?"

"Of course I do," She said immediately, not wanting him to think for a second that any of her insecurities should fall on him.

"Then that's all we can do, right? All we can do is our best."

"You're right." Lorelai admitted, and while she was still scared and insecure, she knew that Luke wouldn't let her get hurt, or at least stay hurt. She may not trust herself, but she trusted Luke.

"Now, let's do something happy. You want to call Rory?"

"Yeah." Lorelai smiled at him.

"Check her schedule, make sure she's not in the middle of something." Luke advised as he parked the truck and they started to walk into the house.

"She's in DC. She has a meeting with a few senators at 7:00pm. It's 3:30 now, ooh, she shouldn't be too busy!" Lorelai spouted from memory, whipping her phone out and dialing. She put the phone on speaker so Luke could hear it ringing.

"Hi mom," Rory chirped as she picked up the phone.

"Before you say anything, check and make sure the Republicans haven't bugged your phone. Is this a private line?"

"Uh, well if they haven't before, they certainly are going to know. I don't think they make a habit of creating NSA files for the lowly reporters though." Rory laughed.

"Lowly my ass, I read the piece you sent out last week. It was phenomenal."

"It was okay." Rory corrected. "It's hard to get so many different angles out of a State of the Union Address."

"It was really good, Rory." Luke piped in.

"Oh, hi Luke! How are you? I miss you."

"I miss you too, kid."

"The coffee in DC sucks." Rory admitted, and Luke chuckled.

"Send me the address where you'll be next week and I'll mail you a bag of it. You'll need a pot to brew it, though."

"Oh, Luke! You're my favorite."

"Hey, might I remind you that I'm sitting right here?" Lorelai teased her daughter.

"Yeah, but I have to be your favorite, you birthed me."

"Obama's campaign might not be the only one you need to start championing, kiddo."

"Huh?" Rory questioned.

"You might want to work a little harder to maintain your status of favorite."

"Why? Luke and I aren't even in the same categ-wait." Rory interrupted herself. "Are you-"

"Pregnant!" Lorelai burst before Rory did.

"Oh my god, Mom! How? When? Actually, I don't need to know how. Just when will do."

"We're eight weeks along."

"Wow." Rory remarked.

"You're the only one who knows, okay?"

"Not even Grandma?"

"Not even Grandma, not for another month or so, okay?"

"You've got it."

"So, try to make a pit stop in Connecticut 7 or so months from now, okay?"

"I'll do my best." Rory laughed. "Listen, Mom, I've got to get going, but I love you and I'm so happy for you. Congratulations!"


	4. Chapter 4

Lorelai stirred early one morning and reached her arm out, wanting to pull herself into Luke's chest, but her open palm met the bed sheets. She wriggled a little, eventually realizing that Luke had shifted further down the mattress. She felt his hand on her stomach, and held still, not wanting to interrupt whatever Luke had started. She heard murmurs, felt his lips against her stomach and turned her head subtly so she could hear him.

"I'm your daddy. You already know mommy. She's great. You probably already know that, but just in case you don't, your mother is one of the most amazing women, no, the most amazing woman I've ever known. You've got two sisters. If you're a girl they'll be your best friends, and if you're a guy they'll probably be your worst nightmare, but they mean well, and that's what's important. Your oldest sister, Rory, she already knows about you. She's just as excited to meet you as your mommy and I are. Your other sister, April, she's a few years younger than Rory. She's going to be sixteen. I'm going to have one kid in diapers and one learning how to drive a car. I'm too old for this stuff, I'm telling you. But that doesn't bother me too much. I'm too excited to meet you to be bothered by any of it. Since you can't talk or even hear yet, I'll offer a confession: I've taught a kid how to drive, but I've never changed a diaper. I taught your sister Rory how to drive, and I guess I'll teach your sister April and you too. But I have no freaking clue how to change a diaper."

"It's not that hard," Lorelai murmured, and Luke immediately blushed.

"How long have you been awake?"

"Since you introduced yourself."

"Oh, good, so, most of it then."

"Good, I'm glad I didn't miss any of that." Lorelai said genuinely.

"You feeling sick?" He asked, looking up at her with eyes full of concern.

"Nope, just missing my guy."

"He's right here."

"I wanted to cuddle into you and you were half gone." She complained.

"I wasn't gone, I just wasn't where you expected me to be." He argued teasingly.

"Come back up here, please." She pleaded, ending the argument.

"Well, since you said please." Luke smiled, straightening back up and wrapping his arms around her. "No more eavesdropping on me and the baby."

"The baby is attached to me. If you need to keep anything private it should probably wait until after we're separated."

"You're supposed to talk to the baby. It's good for them. I want them to know who their daddy is."

"They'll know. And it was adorable, by the way."

"I'm not adorable." Luke grumbled.

"You don't get to argue with me, I'm carrying your child."

"You'd better keep using that card, you've only got 6 months left on it."

"No, six months from now I'll be able to say 'I carried your child.' This card doesn't have an expiration date."

"Lucky me." Luke remarked sarcastically.

"And don't you forget it." Lorelai concluded.

"I won't," he assured her more seriously. "You should go back to sleep."

"I don't want to go to sleep, there's a handsome man in my bed."

"Staying up all night probably isn't helping your fatigue during the day."

"The fatigue is because the baby doesn't have my caffeine tolerance yet." Lorelai grumbled. She gave up coffee willingly for the health of her baby, but that didn't mean she wouldn't complain about it.

"And hopefully she never will."

"She? You hoping for a girl?"

"You know what I want. I want a happy, healthy baby. But we seem to have good luck with girls."

"Yeah, we do."

"Maybe I'll get this one to go fishing or toss a ball."

"Yeah, and maybe she'll eat salads." Lorelai teased, rolling her eyes.

"I'm willing to compromise."

"I hope that she's like you. Smart, calm, steady."

"I hope she gets your eyes."

"We have the same eyes."

"We do not have the same eyes. That doesn't even make sense." Luke said and Lorelai giggled, knowing exactly where this fake-fight would go as they had had it many times before. "And besides, I hope she's like you. Excited about things, bright. Wanting everything the world will give her and then some."

"That attitude got me in a lot of trouble, mister."

"Oh god. She can't leave the house. If we have a girl she can't leave the house." Luke realized.

"Luke Danes! 1965 called, they want their ideologies back." Lorelai gasped

"The progressive women's movement is for women who aren't my daughters. My kids can stay safe at home until they're thirty."

"You let Rory go."

"I had to let Rory go. She has so much to offer the world."

"So does April."

"Not yet. April has two years left of being daddy's little girl. Don't take them away from me."

"They'll always be your girls. All three of them."

"She's looking at Yale."

"April?"

"Yeah."

"That's close. She'd get to spend a lot of time with her baby sister. That sounds really nice, Luke."

"You think so?" Luke asked, lifting his head to look at her a little.

"Of course I do, Luke. She's your daughter, and my step-daughter, practically, and our baby's big sister. I love April. You know that." Lorelai defended herself.

"I know, I know. You're not the one I'm doubting."

"What does that mean?" She asked, turning around in his arms to look at his face.

"I just, I don't know. I don't want her to be upset. I don't want her to think 'why didn't he do that for me? Why didn't he change my diapers, why didn't he warm my bottles?' You know? I don't want her to think that I want the new baby more or her any less."

"Oh, Luke, she won't think that. She knows that you didn't know about her. She knows you would have been there if you had known. I think you've more than proven yourself over these past few years. She won't be jealous, Luke. She's a smart girl. She knows better."

"We going to tell people soon?"

"After my next ultrasound, I think. Once you make it through the first trimester it's pretty safe. We need to tell my parents."

"And April."

"Sookie."

"Mia."

"Mia," Lorelai agreed. They hadn't seen her in years but she was important to both Lorelai and Luke when they were younger.

"You know, all of this conversation could have waited until the morning."

"Goodnight, Cranky."

"Goodnight, Lorelai."


	5. Chapter 5

"Man, have I told you how thin you look lately." Luke asked Lorelai as she took her normal counter seat at the diner, now sporting a small, but clearly visible baby bump that she was more insecure about than she let on.

"Make me a pastrami sandwich or I'll cut off your hand." Lorelai growled, hungry and not wanting to be patronized.

"Hot or cold?"

"Hot, with a pickle. And mustard."

"Yes, dear." Luke teased, disappearing into the kitchen before Lorelai could think to throw a spoon at his head.

Noticing that he was gone, Lorelai slipped off of her stool and snuck behind the counter, reaching for her favorite mug and the orange-rimmed carafe of coffee that sat on the burner.

"Lorelai Victoria Gilmore, you put that down right now!" Luke bellowed sternly from the grill.

"It's decaf, officer Krupke." Lorelai said, extending the coffee pot in his direction so he could see that she wasn't lying.

"Either way you shouldn't be behind the counter, my-"

"Your insurance. I know, Luke." Lorelai snapped as she sat back down on the stool.

"You want to keep grumbling, or do you want to tell me what this is about?"

"You want to know what this is about? I'm tired, and my back hurts, and Michel's cologne is especially intolerable today, not to mention Sookie's making fish, so I can barely even stand to be inside my own business, the business I own, without puking."

"So you're frustrated." Luke summarized.

"I'm frustrated, I'm tired, I'm stressed out."

"What are you stressed about? You can do everything you need to do for the Dragonfly at home. Michel can handle the day-to-day stuff."

"I'm not stressed about the Dragonfly." Lorelai said.

"Let me grab your lunch and we can go upstairs." Luke said, not wanting to continue their conversation in the publicity of the diner, even though it was mostly dead. Lorelai started up the stairs, trusting Luke to follow, which he did a few moments later after retrieving her plate.

"Oh, you brought me fries, too?" Lorelai asked from the sofa when he came through the doorway carrying her meal.

"Seemed like you needed them." He said, setting her plate on the coffee table in front of her and sitting down next to her.

"You're my favorite life partner ever." She smiled as she plucked a french fry off of her plate and put it in her mouth.

"I'm the only one you're ever going to have, so look forward to settling."

"I don't think it's settling." Lorelai said earnestly after swallowing her mouthful of food.

"Keep that in mind next time I try to serve you broccoli."

"I'll try."

"So do you want to tell me what's got you so upset?" Luke asked, putting a hand on her knee as he looked over at her.

"It's stupid." Lorelai grumbled, looking into her lap.

"That's okay." Luke told her.

"You're going to be mad at me." She warned.

"I'm not going to be mad at you, Lorelai. Just tell me what's wrong so I can fix it." He pleaded.

"I'm just stressed about telling my parents." Lorelai admitted.

"Oh," Luke said, understanding now. "That's okay, Lorelai. It's okay to feel like that. But I think it's going to go better than you think it will."

"It won't, Luke, I know it won't. 20-some-odd years may have passed, but it's another baby out of wedlock, so to them it will be exactly the same."

"I don't think that's exactly true. You're not a kid anymore. You own a business. You're financially stable. You're not with someone who's going to jet off to California at the first opportunity."

"They're going to be mean to you." Lorelai warned.

"I can take it," Luke assured her.

"They're going to be mean to me." She supplemented.

"Do you want me to beat them up for you?" He asked.

"No, that would probably just add fuel to their fire," She answered seriously although she knew he was joking.

"I don't know if you're looking at this the right way, sweetheart. This is their second chance too. You left when Rory was just a baby, and that was the right thing to do, but this is their chance to be a part of their grandchild's life for all of it. They won't have to miss the first twelve years of this one, things are better now." Luke explained, wrapping an arm around her shoulder and playing with her hair.

"Things are better now. I want them to stay that way." Lorelai murmured.

"Lorelai, are you happy about all of this?" Luke asked sincerely, and Lorelai turned to look at him.

"Of course I am." Lorelai said seriously.

"Because it's okay if you're not, and you just haven't been you lately, and uh… I miss that. Normally I'm the grumpy, stressed one, and I don't mind being the person who has to talk you down, that's exactly the person that I want to be, but uh, I just want to make sure you're okay, because you're not really you. But, uh, we're having a baby. You and me made a baby and we're going to get to raise a baby and they're going to be a real person, and I'm just really excited about it, and I wanted to make sure you are too."

Hearing Luke talk so freely about his emotions surrounding their child had moved Lorelai to tears; rambly and disorganized as his thoughts may be, they came straight from the heart and that was a big deal for him, Lorelai knew that.

"You're right, this is amazing." Lorelai said, letting a tear fall down her cheek.

"Hey, hey, what's that about?" Luke asked, concern now etching his face.

"Just hit me." Lorelai smiled brightly. "You and I are having a baby, Luke. A baby, a kid, one of our very own. It's our middle, Luke. We're getting our middle. The whole package. Bring on the matching jogging suits and the golden retriever." She beamed up at him, still crying.

"I told you you'd get it." He smiled back at her.

"No, you told Mimi she'd get it." Lorelai corrected.

"Was I still right?" Luke asked.

"You were still right, but don't ever ask me to admit it again."

"I wouldn't dare."


	6. Chapter 6

Lorelai bounced from foot to foot standing next to Luke on the steps of her parents house that same night.

"Stop it, you're jostling the baby." Luke chided teasingly as he put a comforting hand on the small of her back.

"Baby's first rollercoaster," Lorelai joked back weakly.

"Maybe we can save that for a couple years post womb-eviction." Luke remarked. "Don't be nervous."

"I am nervous. You can see my bump through this dress."

"Barely."

"Still. She'll know. She's Emily Gilmore. She'll know."

Not a moment too soon, Emily opened the door wide, inviting the two in with warm pleasantries. "Lorelai, Luke, what can I get you to drink?" She asked as they walked into the sitting room.

"I'll just have a water, Mom." Lorelai said politely, while Luke asked for a beer.

"Lorelai, do you have a drinking problem?" Emily asked plainly.

"What?" Lorelai asked incredulously.

"You haven't had a drink in months."

"Just because I haven't had a drink here doesn't mean I haven't been drinking."

"So are you drinking, or not?"

"I'm confused. Do you want me to be drinking or do you want me to have an alcohol problem?"

"I want to know what's going on in your life, Lorelai."

"Yes, Lorelai, what is going on in your life?" Richard boomed as he emerged from his study.

"Hi daddy."

"Hello, dear. Luke, how are you?"

"Good, sir." Luke said, standing up and shaking his hand.

"Now that everyone's here, Luke and I have something to tell you." Lorelai started.

"You're not wearing a ring." Emily observed astutely.

"Nope, I'm not." Lorelai said, trying to continue on, but her mother interrupted her again.

"Well, I don't know what could be so important if you're not wearing a ring."

"Well, if you would just let me speak-"

"Of course, who's surprised, really. Rings seem to be the kiss of death on your relationships. Max, Christopher."

"Hey, we're permanent! Luke and I are permanent."

"Well how can you know? How can you know one of you isn't just going to run off when things get difficult?"

"Emily, with all due respect-" Luke started, but he was cut off by Lorelai.

"Because we're pregnant! Well, really, I'm the pregnant one, but it's Luke's baby, our baby. And unlike Christopher, Luke is really excited about this. And so am I. We're having a baby, a baby that we're really, really happy about. A baby that we're going to raise together, both of us, every day. And we wanted to share that with you, because you're the baby's grandparents. The baby's only grandparent's, actually, because Luke's parents are gone, but that's not the point. The point is that you're this baby's family, and we want you to be involved, but listen to me when I say this will not be like last time. This is my baby. I will be the one making the decisions. Well, Luke and I will be. God, I'm going to have to get used to sharing all this stuff. But anyways, Luke and I will be making the decisions. Not you, not the DAR, not the High Society of Hartford. Luke and I. And if you can't respect us, if you can't respect that, I will walk again, and this time I won't come back. And I mean that."

"Lorelai, maybe you should come sit-" Luke started, but Lorelai cut him off by outstretching her hand, not breaking eye contact with her mother.

"I don't want to sit."

"Oh, Lorelai…" Emily said quietly, and Lorelai's expression changed at Emily's open amazement. "A baby." Emily confirmed, and Lorelai nodded. "Do you have pictures?" She asked softly.

"Yeah, I do." Lorelai smiled gently before pulling a manilla envelope out of her purse. "We had our twelve-week appointment today. Those pictures are in there, along with some others."

Much to the surprise of the men in the room, both women sat on the couch and began to coo over the grainy black and white ultrasound photographs.

"What a beautiful baby." Emily remarked.

"Could be handsome." Lorelai teased, but Emily shook her head.

"I never had a boy. My mother never had a boy. Neither did her mother, her grandmother, or her great-grandmother. You have a beautiful baby."

"Beautiful until proven handsome."

"That'll do, I think."


	7. Chapter 7

"Kirk, take your hand off of my stomach-"

"Get your hand off of her or I'll cut it off myself." Luke and Lorelai interjected at the same second after Lorelai walked into the diner and Kirk welcomed himself to place a hand on Lorelai's growing bump.

"It's firm." Kirk observed astutely.

"It's a baby." Luke said incredulously, shaking his head and turning to Lorelai. "You can't stay here, there's too many crazy people around."

"Yeah, just lock me in a cave now that you made me ugly. I'm unfit for human consumption." Lorelai ranted.

"Hey, stop that." Luke admonished, looking at her sternly. "I'm going to grab your burger and then we'll go upstairs and eat a meal where nobody's gawking at us or asking invasive questions."

"You weren't prepared for all the attention, huh?" Lorelai smirked as she stepped up the stairs with Luke behind her, his hand resting protectively on the small of her back.

"Should've expected it, the Queen of Stars Hollow is carrying my baby." Luke grumbled as they made their way into the apartment.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Lorelai asked sharply, taking a step forward and spinning around to face him.

"Just that everybody here loves you." Luke said, realizing he'd hit a nerve and trying not to fan the flames.

"Yeah, because queens have a historical precedent for being well-liked."

"Lorelai, don't make this something that it isn't."

"No, Luke, I want you to tell me what you meant."

"I didn't mean anything by it. You know I didn't. I just meant that people here like you, you're friendly, so of course they're interested in the baby. I should have expected it."

"I'm not the Queen of Stars Hollow, Luke. I'm not better than anyone here."

"What's this about?" Luke said, losing track of where he had actually gone wrong.

"I know what it's like. I was the princess of Hartford, Luke, I took french classes and tennis lessons and went to fancy events dripping with diamonds. And I've worked really hard to not be that girl. The entitled girl, the girl who gets everything from everybody."

"You're not that girl. You've worked for everything you've gotten." Luke assured her, taking her hand and moving her to the couch so they could sit down next to one another.

"That's not true. Mia gave me that job at the inn. She shouldn't have. I had no experience, no references, no working papers-"

"And you've worked your ass off every moment since then. Nobody here thinks you're entitled, Lorelai. Everything you have, you have because you worked hard, because you're smart, and because you're good at what you do. It's ridiculous to think anybody here would think you're entitled. What I'd rather talk about is how ridiculous it is that you keep claiming to be fat and ugly."

"Well, I'm huge and I have acne, so I don't know what else that could mean to you." Lorelai said, looking at her hands which were folded in her lap.

"You're pregnant, and glowing. You don't have acne." Luke countered.

"My hair's falling out." Lorelai offered.

"It's shiny." Luke spun.

"It's greasy." Lorelai corrected.

"Your hormones are all out of whack." He concluded.

"My hormones may be out of alignment but my eyes are just fine." She quipped back.

"You need glasses. You look beautiful. Lorelai, you're carrying our baby. You look amazing."

"You're patronizing me." She accused.

"You know just as well as I do that I'm an awful liar." He reminded her.

"My desire to eat is stronger than my desire to argue with you." Lorelai decided as she picked up her burger.

"Eat up, we've got that check-up to get to." Luke instructed.

"16 weeks. We're almost halfway there." Lorelai said, wistfully, and a little sadly.

"Excited to meet her?"

"I'm excited to meet him."

"You're not going to let up on that, huh?"

"Nope. It's whatever you're not calling it until we know exactly what the sex is. I'm covering our bases." Lorelai said resoundingly.

"How very diplomatic of you," Luke grumbled teasingly.

"Four months. This is happening so fast. 9 months seems like forever."

"Right up until month 8, anyway. Plus, we found out when you were already almost two months along."

"Can I tell you something crazy?" Lorelai asked, smiling, and Luke smiled back.

"You know you can tell me anything," he told her.

"I actually really like being pregnant."

"I'll remind you of that when it's time to push."

"Hush. I don't like that part… but this part is pretty nice. It's just me and the baby, you know? It's like, he's kicking and moving around, and other people can't feel it yet, but he knows for sure that I can feel it, because he's right there." She explained, putting a hand on her stomach.

Luke leaned in and kissed her as she looked from her hand. She was surprised, but it certainly wasn't unwelcome. She smiled into the kiss, placing one hand on his neck and the other on his chest. He pulled away after a moment, and they shared a tender smile and a quiet moment before she spoke up again.

"Won't be able to do that soon. There'll be a watermelon in the way," Lorelai said, returning her hand to her stomach.

"I'll work around it. I like kissing you too much to let it stop me." He said gruffly, smirking at her.

"I do love a man with a mission," Lorelai smiled as she leaned over to kiss him again.

"Yes, and right now my mission is to feed my girl and our baby so we can get to our appointment. I promise there will be more time for kissing later."

"Promises, promises." Lorelai scoffed.

"Trust me. You may not see it, but I still find you to be incredibly fit for human consumption. By me specifically, and only me." He smirked, kissing her briefly one more time before pointing to her sandwich and picking at his own lunch.


	8. Chapter 8

Lorelai and Luke sat in the waiting room hand in hand, smiling at each other and generally not being able to contain their excitement. Luke could tell that other people were giving him pointed looks and rolling their eyes, but he didn't give a damn. He had found the love of his life. They were together, against all odds, and they were having a baby. He was happy. He was downright giddy, and he didn't care who knew about it. He was distracted from his smug reverie when a nurse called Lorelai's name, and he helped her up and to the door, leaving his hand on the small of her back and looking over his shoulder to give the other schmucks in the waiting room a final cocky once-over before they went in for Lorelai's exam. The nurse led Lorelai into the examination room and performed the usual exams: She was weighed, and measured, and sat into a chair to check her blood pressure.

"So how are you feeling today?" The nurse asked as she examined the dial critically.

"Good." Lorelai answered simply.

"No pain or discomfort?" the nurse asked before taking the cuff off of Lorelai's right arm and moving it to her left.

"No, I've been feeling great. No blood in that arm?" She joked as the nurse readjusted the cuff.

"Just covering our bases," The nurse smiled before inflating the cuff again. She peered at the dial once more and then stood up. "Dr. Sullivan will be in in just a minute," she told them before leaving the room. A short moment later, Dr. Sullivan burst in without knocking.

"Lorelai, how are you feeling?" She asked, smiling, as she reached for the blood pressure cuff.

"Oh, the nurse already did that." Luke said when she approached Lorelai, worrying that the pressure of the cuff on her arm once again would be uncomfortable.

"I know, I'm just going to check it for myself to be sure." Dr. Sullivan smiled, and Luke began to grow suspicious. He shot a look at Lorelai, and her eyes told him she was feeling the same way. Something was being kept from them. Luke moved protectively to Lorelai's side and took her hand in his.

"Okay, Lorelai," Dr. Sullivan said, the smile gone now. "You're blood pressure is higher than I'd like it, so I'm just going to perform a quick ultrasound to make sure baby is still healthy."

"How high is higher than you'd like it?" Lorelai asked immediately, and Luke squeezed her hand.

"Let's just get a look at that baby, shall we?" Dr. Sullivan said, pulling the machine over and helping Lorelai to lift up her shirt before squeezing the cool gel onto her stomach and moving the wand. After a few tense moments, Dr. Sullivan smiled. "There we go… a beautiful, healthy baby." She said, turning to the expectant parents. "Lorelai, I'm going to prescribe something to lower your blood pressure-"

"No," Lorelai said immediately, and Dr. Sullivan and Luke both turned to look at her incredulously. "I've done this before. I know how this works. Everything I put in my body goes in the baby's body. I haven't so much as taken a tylenol since I thought I might be pregnant. I haven't drank coffee in months. I only eat one burger a week even though I crave them every day. I can lower my blood pressure without medication. I'll cut back on salt, I'll go on bedrest. But if it's at all possible I really don't want to expose the baby to any sort of medication."

"Lorelai, sweetheart. I really want you to think about this. We both want the baby to be safe, but I need you to stay safe, too, okay?" Luke interjected, looking her in the eye, the concern on his face almost shocking to her.

"Lorelai, I tend to agree with Luke here, but from a medical perspective, I could justify letting you leave with a prescription. Listen, it's Tuesday afternoon. Starting at this moment, you're on bedrest. Come in around this time on Friday and we'll check you again. If your blood pressure's back in a healthy range, we'll chalk this up to a close call. But if it's at this level or higher, I'm going to write you a prescription, and I expect you to fill it and take it every day. Okay?"

"She'll take it," Luke grumbled.

"Thank you, Dr. Sullivan," Lorelai smiled as she started to wipe the gel off of her stomach and pull her shirt back down.

"I really need you to be on total bedrest, Lorelai. If I had it my way you'd have a bedpan or a catheter, but seeing as how that's disgusting I'll allow you to go to the bathroom."

"I appreciate it." Lorelai smiled.

"But no further than the bathroom, okay?" The doctor confirmed.

"You got it." Lorelai assured her.

"Okay, I'll let you two get going. If anything changes, if you feel any sort of discomfort, call me. Otherwise, I'll see you on Friday."

"See you Friday." Lorelai smiled as the doctor left the room and she finished cleaning herself up and adjusting her shirt. "You ready to go?"

"Yep." Luke remarked in his typical economy of words, taking her hand in his as they walked back to the car. Luke walked at a slower pace than normal, and Lorelai didn't stop him.

"Hey, can we stop at the Dragonfly? I have some paperwork-"

"Lorelai, you're on bedrest. You're not doing paperwork." Luke said authoritatively.

"Ooh, maybe we could set me up in a bed at the inn like we did for Sookie when she was pregnant." Lorelai suggested.

"Absolutely not." Luke put his foot down. "That was ridiculous when Sookie did it, but I can't tell her what to do."

"You think you can tell me what to do?" Lorelai asked, baiting him.

"I may not have a lot of pull, but I do have some, and I plan to use it."

"Luke, you're not mad, are you?" Lorelai asked, suddenly concerned that her decision had hurt him in some way.

"Oh, Lorelai, of course I'm not mad. I'm just a little tense. I want you to be healthy. I want you both to be healthy."

"There's something we should talk about." Lorelai said somberly, but strongly.

"What?" Luke asked, now concerned.

"If something happens… If something happens and it comes down to one of us, you save the baby."

"No." Luke said immediately.

"Luke," Lorelai pleaded..

"No, Lorelai. I can't do that. I can't tell you I'm going to pick the baby over you, because I can't. I can't do this without you. I can't lose you. So I need you to sit in bed for the next three days, because I can't lose you. I can't raise a baby without you, Lorelai. I don't know the first thing about babies, and I can't live my life without you. My life isn't real to me unless you're a part of it."

"You can and you would. You would live if you needed to. You would raise our baby. You'd do a damn good job of it."

"I would raise the baby, you know I would. But I wouldn't be any good at it, and I'd spend every moment of it wishing you were there. Lorelai, if you-" He cut himself off, shaking his head, not able to force the words out of his throat. "I can't even think about it, okay? I refuse to even consider it to be an option. You're going to take a mini-vacation until Monday, and then in five months I am bringing home the love of my life and our child, okay? That's the only path ahead of us."

"Okay," Lorelai said, putting her hand on top of his on the gearshift. "Can we just get some invoices? Nothing stressful, but I'm going to be in bed for three days. I'm going to need something to do."

"Why don't you watch all those Lifetime movies that are clogging the DVR?"

"If I watch all of those in succession every single one of my brain cells will die."

"Then why are they clogging our DVR?"

"They're good to watch in small bursts."

"You're so much work, you know that?"

"And two minutes ago you claimed I was the love of your life."

"The two aren't mutually exclusive."


	9. Chapter 9

Lorelai had won out on the invoice battle- before she'd been confined to her bed the afternoon before, Luke had run into the Dragonfly and grabbed several folders of menial paperwork that required only a pencil, a four-function calculator, and half a brain to work through. The stack sat untouched for a few hours- Luke cooked the two of them dinner that night and they ate in bed, watching one of the infamous Lifetime movies that congested their DVR before falling asleep.

She rolled over to look at her alarm clock the next morning, feeling more well-rested than she had felt in months. 8:30. Wow, no wonder she was well-rested. They'd been asleep by 10 the night before and over the past few years she'd gotten into the habit of getting up with Luke, drinking her first cup of coffee, or now, juice, while she watched him get ready for the day. She rolled over in bed, expecting to find empty mattress, and instead colliding into the wall of Luke's chest, producing a solid "Oof." from both of them.

"Luke, what are you still doing here?" Lorelai sat up in bed immediately. "The diner was supposed to-"

"Took the day off. Staying with you. G'back to bed." He murmured sleepily, rolling over.

"You don't need to babysit me."

"You're sick." He responded, more awake now, turning to lay on his back but not opening his eyes.

"I'm not sick." she argued. "I'm taking a mini-vacation, remember?"

"Staying home to take care of you." He murmured.

"You don't need to do that. I'm a big girl. You can go to work."

"Lorelai, what are you going to do when you get hungry? Or thirsty? Or want something from downstairs? You're on bedrest. You need me here." Luke tried to reason with her

"No, I don't, Luke. There's no need for both of us to put our lives on hold for three days. Bring me up a box of poptarts and a gallon of water and I'll be good until you get back." Lorelai shot back stubbornly.

Luke rolled over, knowing the argument was useless, and lazily trotted to the bathroom for a quick shower. When he reemerged back into the bedroom, Lorelai was sitting up, watching the news. He quickly finished getting himself ready and then brought Lorelai everything he thought she could use throughout the day: her magazines, some fruit, although the likelihood of her picking that over the pop tarts was unlikely. He brought her a few bottles of water and a glass of juice, in addition to the files that had sat on their bedside table since the previous night.

"Alright, you've got everything you need?" Luke asked, giving her and the table another once over.

"Almost." Lorelai responded.

"What more could you possibly-" he started to ask before he saw her pucker her lips and extend her head towards him. He smiled to himself before pursing his own lips to kiss her warmly.

"There. Now I'm all set. Get to work, and bring home the bacon." She smiled at him.

"Metaphorical or real bacon?"

"Either is fine."

"Call me if you need anything. Or if you start to feel uncomfortable, or if you're in any sort of pain-"

"Luke, sweets, I'm fine. Really. Go." She smiled.

"Promise me you'll call? Even if things only feel a little bit off?"

"I promise. Now get to work, before the boss fires you for being late."

"Caesar wishes he could fire me."

"I'll see you tonight."

"Tonight."

After four hours, Lorelai was hopelessly bored. Every invoice had been checked, double checked, and triple checked. She'd read every single article from every issue of Cosmo, People, and InStyle dating back to the previous July. And there was only so much daytime television a person could take. She'd tried to call Sookie, but she was busy doing the job Lorelai had abandoned of running the inn. She'd attempted a conversation with Michel, but should have known from the start that that would go south fast. As a desperate hail Mary, she tried calling Rory, not expecting an answer in the middle of the workday.

"Mom?" Rory said as she picked up the phone.

"Hey, sweets." Lorelai smiled brightly when she heard her daughter's voice.

"Are you okay?" She asked.

"Yeah, I'm okay." Lorelai said, confused. "Are you okay?"

"No, yeah, I'm fine. You just don't normally call at this time, middle of the day. Isn't it checkout time?"

"Oh, yeah, I guess it is. I'm not at the inn today."

"Wow, you managed to get out on a Wednesday?" Rory asked, knowing it was typically a busy day.

"Well, we hit a little bump in the pregnancy-" Lorelai started to admit.

"What's a little bump?" Rory asked anxiously. "Are you okay? Do you need me to come home?"

"No, no, Rory, I'm fine. My blood pressure just isn't great. I mean, we should have expected that, due to the years of excessive overcaffeination. So, I'm just taking a few days off to try and get those levels back to normal. Nothing to worry about at all." Lorelai assured.

"You promise?"

"Cross my heart and hope to die."

"Opposite, actually."

"Consider my heart un-crossed."

"Well Mom, I'm glad you're okay, and I'm sorry to cut you short, but I really need to get back to work. Thursday's deadline day, so."

"Yeah, of course, of course. I'll talk to you soon, baby. Call your mother more. She misses you. And she still wields the power to cut off the coffee and brownies from the super-proud stepfather."

"No she doesn't. But I'll call soon. I love you, Mom."

"Love you too, angel. I'll talk to you soon."

Lorelai hung up the phone and groaned in frustration, knowing full well that she wouldn't make it through the rest of the day without Luke. She dialed the number for the diner and waited patiently for him to pick up.

"Luke's." He barked, as he always did.

"I lied before." Lorelai admitted by way of starting a conversation.

"Lorelai?" Luke asked.

"Yes, it's Lorelai. Who else do you know that calls the diner and starts conversations that way?"

"Focus, please. Lunch rush."

"I lied before, I need you." Lorelai admitted again.

"Are you okay?" Luke asked urgently, and Lorelai rushed to clarify.

"No, no, I'm fine, I'm just bored, and I want things from downstairs but I can't get out of bed and I was wrong earlier, I do need you, and I love that you wanted to take care of me even though I kicked you out of bed this morning. Clearly, you're a much better man than I deserve, but I hope you'll come home anyway." Lorelai ranted, all of it coming out in one breath.

"Try and stop me," He said, and Lorelai could hear the smirk in his voice.

"I'll see you soon, baby."

"I'll see you soon. Don't move until I get there."

"Ha-ha, very funny mister."


	10. Chapter 10

Lorelai and Luke sat in the waiting room the Friday evening that ended her bedrest considerably more nervous than they had entered that Tuesday. The confidence Luke had had before this week was shaken. His protective streak had stretched a mile wider than it had been before. Even as they sat in the waiting room, he wrapped one arm around her shoulders, placing his other hand on her knee, attempting to calm it from it's anxious bouncing.

"It's going to be fine." Luke whispered into her hair. "She's going to take your blood pressure and send us home. You're fine. We're all fine." He said, squeezing her kneecap.

Lorelai nodded stoically, not able to look anywhere but straight ahead. Luke bit his lip. He didn't know how to help her but he couldn't stand to see her like this, so scared and helpless. They stood up silently when the nurse called Lorelai's name, and moved through the doctor's office like they were wading through water: everything was blurry, numbed. Luke couldn't hear anything, could barely see, couldn't focus on anything other than making sure that Lorelai was okay, that their baby was okay.

Dr. Sullivan walked in, her tone far to chipper considering the dark clouds that Luke was sure floated over his head and Lorelai's. She made polite chatter as she performed all of the necessary checks on Lorelai, but Luke didn't hear anything until he heard the words he'd been waiting since Tuesday afternoon.

"120 over 80, looks like you're perfectly healthy." Dr. Sullivan smiled as she removed the cuff from Lorelai's arm.

"And the baby?" Lorelai asked, not convinced yet.

"The baby showed no signs of distress on Tuesday. Your levels went down dramatically, so I'm assuming you followed my instructions to the letter." The doctor smiled.

"Of course I did." Lorelai assured her.

"Then I have no reason to believe your baby is anything short of perfectly healthy, just like you are."

" _Perfectly healthy. They're both perfectly healthy."_ Luke repeated to himself over and over, feeling his grin grow not of his own accord.

"So, if everything keeps going well, I'll see you two here in a few weeks for your twenty week appointment. Almost halfway there! Stay healthy." The doctor said by way of farewell as she shut the door to the patient room behind her. Luke turned to look at Lorelai, who was beaming as big as he was, and he immediately wrapped her in his arms and kissed her.

"I'm so glad you're okay," He whispered, not willing to let her go.

"And the baby. The baby's okay." Lorelai agreed.

"We're okay. We're all okay."

"Let's go home." Lorelai suggested to Luke gently.

"Not yet." Luke said, not able to will himself to stop holding her, to stop breathing in the sweet scent of her shampoo, to stop feeling her chest rise and fall against his, to stop rubbing his thumb slowly over the small of her back. He wasn't going to stop, not now, not in the next 20 weeks, or the next 20 years. He wasn't going to stop.

"Luke." Lorelai said, knowing that something greater was going on.

"I'm not losing you."

"Of course not, baby. I'm right here."

"I'm not losing you." He said firmly.

"I know." She told him, running a hand through his hair and letting him hold her, whatever she needed to do to make him feel better right now.

"You have to stay healthy. Because I'm not losing you." He whispered into her hair.

"I know, babe. I know. Let's go home and I'll even let you make me a salad." She joked weakly, smiling although she knew he wouldn't smile back. He held her for another moment before letting go. Lorelai put one hand on the side of his face as he pulled away from her, and he put his hand over her own. "You're not losing me, okay? I'm determined to outlive you just to prove that coffee and red meat actually make you healthier." She smiled that bright smile that she knew Luke couldn't resist, and Luke shot back a quick grin of his own, forgetting the stress of the past week for a fleeting moment.

"That's okay. I plan on going first anyhow." Luke remarked, and Lorelai's grin was wiped away immediately.

"Luke." She said softly, and he pulled her hand towards his mouth and kissed her palm.

"Three years ago, I stood in your lawn with my truck all packed full of crap. You were wearing those orange pajamas, the ones you threw out when we got back together. I told you that my life wasn't real to me unless you were there, you were in it, and I was sharing it with you. I meant that, Lorelai. I meant every word. Every moment we spent apart in that year was nothing, okay? It was nothing. I had nothing."

"You had April." Lorelai whispered.

"I had April one weekend a month while her mother tried desperately to take her away from me. I had April, sure, but not in the same way I have her now. Lorelai, I don't ask a whole lot of you. Sure, I grumble and complain about the messes and the coffee and the lack of vegetables in your diet. But we both know I don't really give a damn about any of that. So I'm asking you for this, okay? I'm asking to go first. I'm not the kind of man to make demands but I'll demand it if I need to. I did not sign on to your dying. Not tonight, not for a very long time."

"You can go first." Lorelai whispered after a moment. "Do your best to come back as a ghost and haunt me. I'll miss you."

"We should probably get going." Luke said stoically, standing up and taking Lorelai's hand.

"Yeah," She agreed as she slid off the bench and followed him out to the car. When Luke turned the key in the ignition, Lorelai put her hand over his on the gearshift, and he looked at her.

"Not tonight. Not for a very long time, okay?" She asked.

"Not tonight. Not for a very long time."


	11. Chapter 11

"Luke, Luke, Luke, Luke, Luke, Luke, Luke!" Lorelai exclaimed rapid-fire in the middle of the night, tapping his chest repeatedly until he woke up.

"What, what? What's wrong? Are you okay? What hurts? Do you need me to take you to the hospital?" He said after waking and sitting up with a start. Lorelai grasped for his hand and clamped it over her stomach. "Lorelai, what are you-"

"Shh. I'm fine. Just wait a minute. Feel."

Luke focused on the sensation of Lorelai's warm skin under his hand as his heart rate returned to normal. He didn't have a clue what this was about, but at least she wasn't dragging him out of bed at some ungodly hour to smell the snow. And she wasn't in pain. She was healthy, their baby was healthy, and everything was fine. He tried to will his heart rate back to a resting level, or at least one at which he couldn't feel it beating against the wall of his chest. After a moment, he felt it. A little something, pushing up against Lorelai's stomach and into his hand. Something, he figured, that felt remarkably similar to what his son or daughter's little foot or fist would feel like when he held them four months from now.

"Is that-" he started to ask, but was quickly interrupted.

"Uh-huh." Lorelai smiled brightly, looking up at his face, which was filled with an awestruck wonder that even passed his expression the first time they had seen their kidney bean on an ultrasound screen.

"Wow." Luke breathed out.

"Yeah." Lorelai agreed.

"Wow." He said again.

"Worth waking up for?" She asked, smiling up at him.

"You scared me." He admitted.

"Sorry. I didn't want you to miss it." Lorelai apologized.

"I didn't want to miss it, either. I'm glad you woke me, but you could try it without a heart attack next time." He suggested.

"Oh, but what's the fun in that?" She teased.

"You're a lot of work." He told her.

"Yup." She agreed.

"Go back to sleep." He ordered.

"Can't. He's still kicking." She explained.

"Maybe she'll play soccer." Luke theorized.

"No." Lorelai said immediately.

"No?" Luke asked, surprised.

"Remember that soccer team you sponsored? Those violent, Atilla-the-hun descendants that we made the cute little hats and jerseys for? The ones who worked really hard to make the other girls cry?" Lorelai reminded him,

"No soccer." Luke agreed, shaking his head at the memory.

"Maybe he'll be a runner, like you. A little Butch Danes Jr." Lorelai smiled.

"Danes?" Luke asked.

"That is your last name, right? I haven't been messing it up for the past 15 years?" Lorelai teased.

"Oh, well, I just figured. Rory's last name is Gilmore, so…" Luke blustered.

"Yeah, and Rory's father saw her five times in her first 10 years of life, so I felt like it was maybe better if she had my last name." Lorelai explained, a bit sharply, but Luke knew that the anger was directed at Christopher, not him. "This is your baby, Luke. Our baby. Baby Gilmore-Danes." Lorelai smiled up to him, choosing not to continue being angry.

"Got a good ring to it." Luke remarked.

"We need to pick a real name. One that isn't baby." Lorelai told him.

"We don't know the gender yet." Luke reminded her.

"So you take girls and I take boys." Lorelai explained as if it were that simple. "You go first." She instructed.

"We're doing this now?" Luke groaned.

"Fine, I'll go first. Lucas." She acquiesced.

"No. Go again." He rejected.

"Oh, no bucko. It's your turn." She reminded him.

"Emily."

"You're baiting me, right? That was a sick joke?" She asked incredulously.

"Your turn." He ignored her.

"Alex." She offered.

"No." He rejected again.

"What's wrong with Alex?" She asked.

"I have April. Then we have two "A" names and one "R" name. No "L" names either. Plus, that was Fish Guy's name."

"You remember fish guy's name?"

"I taught you how to fish so you could go on a date with some other guy. I remember his name."

"Fine. Your turn." Lorelai agreed.

"Charlotte." He proposed.

"No." She shot down.

"Charlotte's a perfectly good name." He defended.

"It's got no good nickname potential. I'm not calling our daughter Charlie." She explained.

"But you'd call our son Alex?" He shot back.

"Alex is a boy's name. It's Fish Guy's name." She defended.

"It's a unisex name. That girl on the show April used to watch was named Alex." He resisted.

"David." Lorelai tried.

"Are you serious?" Luke asked.

"What?" Lorelai wondered, confused.

"Davey Belleville and David Gilmore Danes?" He reminded her.

"Damn. You don't think Sookie will change her kid's name?" She wondered allowed.

"I think you have pregnancy brain, and you need to go back to sleep." He instructed.

"One more girl's name." She requested.

"Delaney." He volunteered.

"Oh, Luke." Lorelai whispered.

"What? What's wrong with that one?" He asked.

"Nothing. It's perfect. Delaney Grace Gilmore Danes." She declared.

"Grace?" He asked.

"Just flows, don't you think. Delaney Grace." She repeated, smiling.

"Oh, it flows. I just didn't know if you'd want to associate someone with your genes with the idea of being graceful." He teased.

"Oh, you're mean." She accused.

"Maybe, but I still love you too." He told her.

"I love you too, diner man." She affirmed.

"I love you, Delaney Grace," Luke whispered to Lorelai's stomach. "Now, both of you go to sleep."

"But now we really need a boy's name. I can't just keep calling the baby "him," while you call him Delaney Grace. If he's a boy he'll have a complex, either from not having a name, or from being called a girl's name by his father the whole time he was in utero. The last thing we need here is an electra complex. Rory and I are already freakishly linked, but it's nowhere near as freaky as that, and I'd like to keep it that way."

"It can wait until the morning." Luke said, pulling Lorelai into his arms and settling his chin into her neck, kissing her softly to try and silence her, or at least slow her freight-train brain.

"It can wait until morning," she murmured tiredly, settling into him.


	12. Chapter 12

"We need a boy name. Now." Lorelai requested as she rapped a hand on the counted playfully.

"Lorelai, I'm working." Luke reminded her as he walked away from the counter carrying several plates.

"We can't go to this appointment with only a girl's name. Then if it's a boy we'll be all thrown off, and the baby will hate us, and-"

"Lorelai, calm down." Luke said, placing both of his recently freed hands on her shoulders to stop her train of thought before it derailed into a fully blown panic attack. "The baby will not hate us. Read your list to me while I work."

"Carson." Lorelai offered.

"Kids named Carson get beat up." Luke explained as he made his way back into the kitchen.

"Steven." Lorelai tried.

"No." Luke rejected as he served Gypsy her side of hash.

"Parker." Lorelai proposed.

"That's not it either." Luke shook his head as he refilled coffee mugs.

"Taylor."

Luke didn't say anything, but turned towards Lorelai and scowled, knowing by her barely-contained giggles that she must have been joking. But really, he should have been expecting payback for the "Emily" comment he had made a few nights before.

"Benjamin." She volunteered.

"Benjamin," Luke said, trying it out as he placed the carafe of coffee back in it's rightful spot behind the counter

"Benjamin?" Lorelai asked.

"Benjamin Gilmore- Danes." Luke said, turning around to look at her.

"Benjamin Lucas Gilmore-Danes?" Lorelai tried.

"No." He countered. She knew he didn't want to name their baby after him.

"Benjamin William Gilmore-Danes." Lorelai tried again.

"You'd do that?" Luke asked when Lorelai offered his father's name as a middle name.

"Of course I would." Lorelai said, looking up at him genuinely.

"Benjamin William Gilmore- Danes," Luke tested, smiling at the sound of it.

"Sounds pretty damn good to me." Lorelai smiled, her eyes watering.

"Sounds good to me too," He smiled, giving her a quick kiss before placing a plate of eggs in front of her. "Now eat, so we aren't late for our appointment."

An hour or so later, Lorelai found herself in an all-too-familiar position at Dr. Sullivan's office: laying prone on her back, now not able to see over her belly, her hand clenched in Luke's as the cold gel was poured over her distended stomach. It was uncomfortable, sure, but those grainy black and white pictures of her baby made every squirmy moment worth it.

"So, I can tell you the gender now," Dr. Sullivan began. "Or, I can write it on a card and seal it in an envelope if you're planning on having a gender reveal party-"

"A gender reveal party?" Luke asked, his face turning up in confusion.

"We'd take the card to a baker or something, or I guess probably Sookie in our case, and she'd make the inside of a cake pink or blue, and we'd find out at a party." Lorelai explained.

"That sounds-" Luke started to react.

"Don't worry, honey. We're not doing that." Lorelai cut him off before he went into full rant mode.

Dr. Sullivan chuckled before continuing. "Or, of course, you could just wait until the kidney bean is born."

"Not quite a kidney bean anymore," Lorelai smiled.

"No, not quite." Dr. Sullivan agreed.

"We want to know now," Lorelai told Dr. Sullivan, looking over at Luke and squeezing his hand excitedly.

"Alrighty then," Dr. Sullivan smiled, moving the ultrasound wand around, trying to get a clear picture. "Come on, this isn't the time to be camera shy," Dr. Sullivan whispered as she moved the wand. "Ah, there we go." Dr. Sullivan concluded, deciding on an optical angle. "That's a healthy baby boy."

"Oh, a boy." Lorelai whispered, looking at the image of their son, and then at Luke.

"How you doing there, Danes?" Lorelai asked, her voice choked with a happy sob as she squeezed his hand again.

"That's our son." He whispered in the typical Danes economy of words, only tearing his eyes away from the screen to give her a quick kiss.

"Do you have a name picked out?" Dr. Sullivan asked by way of conversation as she packed up her belongings.

"Benjamin. Benjamin William. Ben, probably Benny when he's younger." Lorelai smiled warmly as she turned towards the doctor.

"Great. Well, I'll print off these pictures of Benny and let you two get back to your lives." She smiled as she excused herself from the room momentarily.

Given the privacy, Luke felt much more free to passionately express his joy to Lorelai, leaving a lingering kiss on her lips. He gently wiped the gel from her stomach before pressing a kiss to the side of it, whispering so that even Lorelai could barely here. "Hey Benny. I'm your daddy."

"Oh, Luke." Lorelai whispered. "You are such a good dad. Benny is the luckiest little boy in the whole world.

"Just following your lead." He told her before kissing her forehead. "You ready to head out of here? We can pick up the pictures at the reception desk."

"Yeah," Lorelai said quietly as she stood up. "You done at the diner for the day?"

"I can be." He told her as he helped her into her coat. "Why?"

"I thought you might want to make a quick mall stop to pick up a few of Benjy's first outfits." Lorelai smiled brightly as she gratefully took the pictures from the nurse at the reception desk, and who was he to say no to that smile? Luke couldn't even muster up a pretense of gruffness.

"That sounds great," he smiled as he opened the car door for Lorelai.

After half an hour in the mall, it was not sounding so great. Lorelai was still excited, sure, but Luke had had his fill of people, and was ready to get going. But he certainly wasn't going to spoil Lorelai's fun.

"Oh, Luke. Look at this!"

"It's cute." Luke said without looking in her direction.

"No, Luke, really look. This is the last one, I swear."

Luke wasn't convinced, but his ears perked up at the thought of getting to leave. He looked in her direction and saw what Lorelai was fawning over. As if it were set up for them, Lorelai had found a display of boys outfits: one of them being a small baseball cap and flannel shirts, and next to it was a stuffed dog in the same outfit.

"Luke, look. Benny's going to look just like his daddy. So handsome."

"I thought we agreed he was going to look like you."

"Uh, maybe you agreed with yourself. But even if he does look like me, he can still dress like you. Please, Luke? Please, please please?" She pouted up at him, and any false front of grumpiness or anger was instantly dissolved.

"Put 'em in the cart," Luke grumbled, and Lorelai hopped excitedly, grabbing several flannels, a navy blue cap, and the stuffed dog to round out the set.


	13. Chapter 13

"Did you just hiss at me?" Luke asked Lorelai, who was sitting on her usual stool at the counter, when he heard an unfamiliar noise signalling his entrance to the diner from the kitchen.

"Are you judging me? Now, of all times? You know what I'm like without the coffee."

"Not judging, just confirming." He corrected.

"Well, confirm that I'm exhausted and that you should pour me a cup of the good stuff."

"You need more stamina." Luke chastised, and Lorelai changed her tactics, knowing she was fighting a losing battle.

"No, I need more steak and eggs." She countered. "So you could work on that."

"It's three in the afternoon."

"That's why I'm having a dinner thing and a breakfast thing. It's not technically a mealtime so I'm covering my bases."

He stopped when he heard her voice, sighed, and turned back to the kitchen. Lorelai let out a small smirk of victory. He could deny her coffee: that was for her health and the baby's. But she knew full well that he wouldn't deny her food. He knew better than to keep Lorelai and the baby hungry.

Lorelai busied herself by going over a few documents for the inn, but heard the bells on the door jangle after a few minutes. Wondering who would be coming in at such an odd time, she turned her head immediately, and her face lit up in delighted shock.

"Rory!" She exclaimed.

"Hi mom!" Rory beamed back, rushing into the diner to give her mom a hug.

Luke, having heard the commotion, came back into the diner from the kitchen. "Rory?" He asked, surprised to see her.

"Hi Luke! I have a surprise for you too."

"You're surprise enough." He told her.

"Well, I think you'll like this one anyways. She smirked as she stepped out of the diner for a moment, re-emerging with Jess.

"Jess!" Luke and Lorelai said in surprised unison.

"Wow, you guys remembered my name?" He said sarcastically, crossing the room to greet his uncle. "Congrats, man. I had to see that you'd worked it out with my own two eyes to actually believe it."

"It's all worked out." Luke confirmed, smiling. "It's great, really. I'm the luckiest man on earth."

"Save the mush for your girl." Jess teased.

"Hey, I'm just saying. You could be this happy too." Luke said to Jess, although he was looking at Lorelai, who was chatting animatedly with Rory.

"Yeah, maybe someday." Jess said, looking in the same direction.

"That's not all!" Rory exclaimed, going back outside once more.

"What more could she possibly have planned?" Luke asked Jess, but before he could respond, his answer walked through the door.

"April!" Luke and Lorelai exclaimed again.

"Hi Dad!" April said, rushing to give her father a hug.

"Shouldn't you be studying for some big test, or working in a lab or something?" Luke asked as he embraced his daughter.

"I think I can take a weekend off of studying every once in a while for my dad. Especially if there's a baby brother involved. When I heard from Rory that she and Jess were coming to visit, I begged mom until she let me book a plane ticket. Hi, Lorelai," April smiled, and Lorelai gave April a big hug.

"I'm glad you took some time off. Give that brain of yours a rest." Lorelai smiled as she pushed some hair out of April's face.

"Thanks." April smiled back.

"How long are you here for?" Lorelai asked, turning so she could look at both Jess and Rory while standing next to April.

"I took a long weekend, so my flight out is Monday afternoon." Rory explained.

"I'll probably leave around the same time." Jess answered.

"I'm going to have to head out Sunday night. I have an 8AM lab on Monday morning. AP Biology waits for no man. Or, woman, as it were."

"Yikes," Rory grimaced, remembering those days far too well.

"And the motive behind this spontaneous trip was…" Lorelai asked with a shade of suspicion in her voice.

"We couldn't just travel out here because we wanted to see our loving mother, uncle, and father, respectively?" Rory argued.

"Of course you can." Lorelai relented.

"Here," Luke said, handing Jess a set of keys he'd retrieved while the ladies were talking. "Keys to the diner."

"Thanks, Uncle Luke."

"It's Luke, Jess. Just Luke. April, you can stay up there too, if you want, or we can try and make space at the house."

"My old bed in the diner is fine, Dad."

"I assume you'll want your bedroom back for the weekend." Lorelai looked at Rory.

"Oh, well, if it's too much trouble or you're using it for the nursery I could just stay upstairs with Jess or at the inn-"

"Woah, woah, woah kiddo. I was totally teasing. You'll be staying as close to me as humanly possible at all times."

"Oh, well good. I tried to drop my luggage at the house already but the door was locked."

"Hey, don't blame me. That's all on the caffeine enabler." Lorelai defended herself.

"It's not safe," Luke explained for the millionth time. "Rory, please, tell me you lock the door on your apartment."

"Why would I lock the door? You have to be buzzed into the building." Rory responded, and Luke put his head in his hands. "Relax, Mr. Boy Scout. I'm teasing. I lock it every day when I leave for work and every night when I go to sleep."

"Should be locked before you go to sleep, too." Luke grumbled.

"So, just to be clear, it should be locked 100% of the time, except for when I'm passing through it?" Rory questioned teasingly.

"Rory, if the door's unlocked, anybody could come in there and do anything." Luke cautioned.

"Luke, I live in a safe neighborhood and I have a baseball bat. I'm fine." Rory tried to assure him.

"Jess, how often are your doors locked?" Lorelai asked sarcastically, trying to redirect the conversation.

"Oh, I took all of the doorknobs out of my apartment. Really throws the burglars off." Jess played into her banter.

"Genius." Lorelai remarked.

"Where's all of your stuff?" Luke asked his kids.

"it's in the back of Jess's truck. I flew into Philly and then we drove down here together. Picked up April on the way." Rory answered.

"You guys must be exhausted." Lorelai said.

"It wasn't too bad." Jess clarified.

"I could go for a cup of coffee though." Rory said, smiling a bright smile at Luke, who rolled his eyes although he couldn't hide his grin before pouring a to-go cup for Rory.

"Here, kiddo. Take my keys and go get set up at the house. Caesar was just making me some steak and eggs but then I'll meet you back at the house, okay?" Lorelai said.

"I'll bring home burgers for dinner. Jess, you come by too." Luke said.

"Alright mom, see you in a bit." Rory said, giving her mother a quick kiss on the cheek and Luke a brief hug before following Jess back out to his car.

Lorelai turned to look at Luke, beaming. "Our babies are home." She whispered, as if it were a secret.

"All four of them," he smiled back, kissing her briefly before going to check on her meal.


	14. Chapter 14

"Dinner was good, Dad." April said as she cleared her plate, rinsing it and putting it in the dishwasher.

"Yeah, thanks Luke," Rory said as she stood up, although Jess followed and took her plate away, whispering something in her ear as he moved towards the sink with their dishes.

"So mom, I read a study the other day that said a 20 minute walk after dinner increases the lung development of a fetus by 35%." Rory said, as if it were a normal introduction to any discussion.

"Have you been hanging out with Paris?" Lorelai asked skeptically.

"No, I read it too," supplemented April. "And I think it would be good to walk some of dinner off, don't you, Rory?"

"Definitely. Plus, I missed our snow walk this year. Please, mommy? Please please please?"

"Okay, but you'll both have to help me get out of this chair." Lorelai acquiesced, reaching out her hands for her daughters to help her up.

"Dad, you'll come too?" April asked.

"Oh, I don't know, kid. I was gonna stay behind and clean up-"

"Dad," April whined. "I'm only here for the weekend. The kitchen can wait, can't it?" She pouted. Damn, he could never resist the pout. "I'm coming." He resigned himself. Jess smirked as he followed his uncle out of the kitchen, clapping a hand on his back as he pulled his old leather jacket over his shoulders.

"This isn't the route we take for our snow walk." Lorelai noted as they started walking towards the town square, Luke's hand in hers.

"Well, there's no snow on the ground. I thought we'd take a different route.

"What's Patty's studio all lit up for? There's not a town meeting tonight, is there?" Lorelai asked, looking at Luke.

"Not that I know of." Luke responded, shaking his head and shrugging his shoulders, equally confused as she was.

"Let's go look," Lorelai said, tugging on Luke's arm.

"Hey, that's still attached. I'd like to keep it that way." He grumbled as he picked up his pace to follow her.

Lorelai peeked inside, and Luke naturally followed suit. While their eyes were still adjusting to the light they heard a bellowed "Surprise!" from the collective townspeople.

"What is all this?" Lorelai asked as she stepped inside, Luke trailing close behind her.

"It's your baby shower!" Rory exclaimed excitedly as she led her mother further into Ms. Patty's Dance studio.

"I knew you had ulterior motives for coming home this weekend!" Lorelai exclaimed triumphantly.

"Yes, yes, you were right all along." Jess teased.

"We figured you'd forgive us for a few white lies along the way." April added, smiling.

"And I thought you might not want to be the only guy here," Jess whispered to Luke, not wanting to offend April or Rory, who'd both worked hard to pull this all off.

"Thank you, Jess. For being here and for all of this."

"April, Rory and Sookie did most of the work here." Jess said, trying to shift himself out of the spotlight for the event.

"Still, thanks."

"Anytime, Uncle Luke." Jess smirked.

"Well, what are you waiting for?" April asked Lorelai.

"Let's eat!" Rory started, leading her mother towards the food.

"We just ate dinner." Luke reminded them.

"And when has that ever mattered before?" Lorelai countered, only for Luke to roll his eyes as a weak rebuttal. "Eating for two!" She called over shoulder in response as she shoveled mac and cheese bites and mini crostinis, surely Sookie's handiwork, onto a plate.

"Oh, well, Dad, if you don't want to eat, there's onesie decorating over there, Oh, and guess the baby food at the next table. Don't worry, none of them are gross. We made Jess test them first."

Luke gave out a chuckle at that, and turned to look at Jess, who shrugged, but didn't deny his part.

"Oh, and over there, there's-"

"April." Luke said, cutting her off gently. "This all looks amazing. Thank you. I can handle it from here. Go have fun," he smiled, giving his daughter a kiss on the cheek before sending her off to fool around with Rory and Lorelai.

"So, I say you can probably sneak out after an hour and a half and nobody'll notice. Maybe even earlier if people realize Ms. Patty brought out the punch." Jess ventured, looking out at the crowd of people gathered to celebrate his uncle's unborn son.

"Nah, I think I'll probably stick around. Rory and April worked really hard, and, you know, Lorelai-"

"You want to stay just to watch her have fun," Jess accused teasingly.

"Laugh if you want, but I suspect your good old Uncle Luke isn't the only reason you made this trip down here for the weekend." Luke said, sneaking a glance in Rory's direction out of the corner of his eye as Jess did the same.

"Yeah, maybe not." Jess admitted, looking down at his shoes.

"Tread lightly." Luke warned seriously, trying to make eye contact with him.

"Not sure I'm able to tread at all. I love Rory, but I can't lose her friendship. She was really good for me when I was here. She is really good for me, end of sentence."

"All of that 'losing her friendship' bullshit is what kept me and Lorelai apart for years." Luke cautioned his nephew.

"You're sending me mixed signals, here." Jess observed.

"I'm saying, tread lightly, but don't just tread water. Move carefully, but don't waste time. Learn a lesson or two from your old Uncle Luke."

"I will keep that in mind." Jess nodded solemnly, looking his uncle in the eye.

"Good." Luke said, returning the eye contact and nodding.

As predicted, an hour and a half later, most of the crowd had considerably imbibed in Ms. Patty's punch. Luke had remained sober, and could see from a distance that Lorelai was waning in energy.

"Hey, you ready to go?" he whispered in her ear, coming up behind her.

"Oh, no, we can't go yet. There's still so many people here," Lorelai expressed her concern.

"Yes, and they're all drunk off their ass or on their way there."

"Huh." Lorelai noticed for the first time, looking around. "Oh, Rory got into the punch. That's gonna hurt in the morning."

"How do you know she wasn't just drinking beer?"

"She's dancing spazzy. She doesn't drink enough beer to get that drunk."

"I'll go talk to Jess, make sure she gets home safe. Find April for me?"

"Okay babe, meet you back here in a few."

"You sober?" Luke asked his nephew, who was sitting at a table.

"Well, I've had a few beers, so I probably shouldn't be operating heavy machinery, but I can manage myself. Why?"

"Make sure Rory gets home safe. As in, you bring her home and get her into her bed, and then you go back to the diner and get into your bed, and there is no more than one person in any one bed at any one given point in time. Clear?"

"You think I'd take advantage of her when she's like this?" Jess asked, a little offended, but knowing Luke was acting out of his protective streak for Rory and not out of any distrust in him.

"Are we clear?" Luke asked again.

"Crystal." Jess answered before Luke walked back to the door to walk Lorelai and April home.


	15. Chapter 15

"We need groceries, not just junk food. You're worse than the kids!" Luke exclaimed as he looked over the list Lorelai had handed him for a Doose's run.

"Uh, are you surprised?" Lorelai asked from her stool at the counter, sitting between April and Rory. "We're having a movie night after Jess and Rory bring April to the airport. We need supplies."

"You had a movie night last night." Luke countered.

"We couldn't have a movie night without April!" Rory interjected on behalf of her not-quite sister as she cut another bite out of her pancakes.

"So then why are you having another one tonight?"

"It's Rory's last night here!" Lorelai explained passionately as she speared a piece of pineapple from the fruit salad she had not ordered and brought it to her lips. "See, I'm even eating the fruit you brought me. So it's fine."

"You see that this is insane, right?" Luke asked his daughter, who shrugged.

"I think you're outnumbered." She said plainly as she took another bite of her eggs.

"Not that it would have mattered," Luke grumbled as he made his way back to the kitchen. Lorelai immediately began divvying up the fruit she didn't want between Rory's plate and April's.

"I saw that!" Luke called over his shoulder, and Lorelai rolled her eyes as she indignantly bit into another grape.

Later that evening, Jess, Rory and April were driving the youngest among them to the airport.

"So, April, have you started looking into any colleges?" Rory asked by way of conversation.

"Yeah, a few. Stanford looks really amazing. There's Yale, of course. Princeton, Cornell, UConn."

"UConn?" Jess questioned. "What's a girl as smart as you looking at UConn for?"

"UConn is a good school." Rory defended April's choice.

"Of course it is, but April's smart enough to get into the Ivy of her choice, why should she settle for UConn?" Jess shot back.

"Okay, Mom and Dad." April teased, and Jess and Rory couldn't help but laugh at themselves. "If you're done bickering like an old married couple, I could explain that UConn puts me pretty close to Dad, Lorelai, and whomever else comes along, and a lot of my friends from Woodbridge will probably end up there. It's sort of a back-up if I don't get into Yale." She defended.

"There's no shame in having backups." Rory told her confidently as they pulled up to the airport. "Did you want us to walk you in?" Rory asked, unbuckling her seatbelt.

"No, mom, I'm fine." April teased.

"Okay, well, I'm still getting out of the car to give you a hug." Rory told her as she opened her door.

"I wouldn't expect anything less." April smiled as she gave Rory a big hug.

"Call us when you land, okay?"

"Yep. Drive safe, and thanks for the ride. Bye, Jess," April said, looking into the car window.

"Bye April. Don't talk to strangers."

"You two are the worst!" She laughed as she rolled her eyes, giving Rory one final squeeze before disappearing into the rush of weary travelers.

"And then there were two," Rory said as she slipped back into the car and buckled her seatbelt. "Thanks for coming up this weekend." Rory told Jess. "I know Luke really appreciated seeing you."

"It wasn't a problem." He deflected. "Luke wasn't the only Stars Hollow resident I wanted to see."

"I know, Ms. Patty missed you too."

Jess chuckled, and snuck a peek over at Rory, who was smiling at him. Now or never.

"Rory," Jess started, and the tone in the car changed instantly.

"What's wrong?" She asked.

"Nothing. Nothing's wrong, there's just something I have to tell you." He rushed to explain.

"You can tell me anything, you know that." She told him genuinely.

"I still love you." He confessed, and supplemented less than a moment later. "I tried to stop loving you the first time I saw Dean, but clearly that didn't work. I tried to stop loving you when I went to California and that didn't work. I tried to stop loving you when you were with that blonde dick at Yale, and that didn't work either. I have tried and tried to stop loving you and over and over again the world has told me that it's not gonna happen. I think I might always love you. But if you don't feel the same way, I really don't want us to lose our friendship. And if it's too weird because of your mom and Luke, I get it-"

"Jess." Rory said quietly, cutting him off. "I think it's possible that maybe I still love you too." She confessed long-windedly. "But you've got to understand where I'm coming from. I live in D.C now and you live in Philly."

"Only a two hour car ride." He told her.

"You looked it up?" She asked teasingly.

"Nope, that one is just common knowledge."

"You looked it up." She teased in a sing-song tone of voice.

"If you want to believe that I looked it up, that's fine." He told her.

"Bottom line is, of course I'm still into you, but it's going to be really, really hard." Rory worried.

"Going to be? So there's a chance here?" Jess asked hopefully.

"I mean, technically you haven't asked me anything yet. I don't even know what you want." She teased.

"Rory, would you want to be my girlfriend?" He asked to appease her, rolling his eyes teasingly.

"Yeah, I think I would." Rory answered.

"Good." Jess smiled.

"We deserve a fair, shot, I think, you and me. I don't know if we got that last time." Rory said.

"My fault, probably." Jess admitted.

"No, it wasn't anybody's fault. You're in a different place now than you were when we were in high school. Things have changed for you, in a good way. You're more ready now. We're more ready now, don't you think?" She asked him.

"God, I hope so." He confessed.

"Two hours isn't that bad. I could drive up one weekend, you could drive up the next. This could work." Rory began rationalizing and making a plan, as she always did.

"Rory, I asked you. You don't need to sell me on this." He reminded her.

"Oh, right." She remembered, then laughing a little. "Right. Great. We're together now." she smiled.


	16. Chapter 16

_**A/N: Caution in this chapter may be triggering**_

"How are you feeling?" Luke asked Lorelai as they climbed into bed Sunday night after Lorelai and Rory's movie night, just as he did every night of their pregnancy.

"My back is bothering me, but nothing unmanageable."

"Lay on your side, I'll massage it. Lower back?" He asked.

"Oh, you're my favorite." Lorelai smiled as she rolled so that her back was facing him. "Lower back." She confirmed, and he began to work his fingers against her tender skin gently. She squirmed a little in discomfort, trying not to show it when she knew that Luke was trying to do something nice for her. She took a deep breath, trying to will herself to feel comforted instead of pained.

"Lorelai, you're awful tense."

"Yeah, this is, uh, this isn't helping. Sorry, babe, I know you were trying to help. Let's just go to sleep, yeah?" Lorelai smiled, kissing Luke briefly.

"You sure you're okay?" Luke asked critically.

"I'm carrying a basketball in front, here. Not really all that surprising to have a little back pain. It'll pass by the time I wake up."

"Goodnight, Lorelai." Luke said, switching his bedside lamp off.

"Goodnight, Luke." She smiled as he felt his arm come around her waist and settle on her bump.

Lorelai woke up several hours later needing to use the bathroom, and groaned. She was certainly used to the bladder wake-up calls, but that didn't make them any more enjoyable. And her back still hurt. She rolled out of bed and made her way to the bathroom, trying to be quiet and discreet as to not wake Luke. She'd done a pretty good job of it to, until she looked down at her panties and noticed the red streak, which six months ago would have meant that she was decidedly not pregnant, but now meant something immeasurably worse. She physically felt all of the color drain from her face as she stood up and looked into the toilet to confirm her nightmare.

"Luke." She whispered to herself, wondering if maybe the world had stopped spinning. "Luke, Luke. Luke!" At some point she had transitioned from whispering to screaming to sobbing, although she couldn't pinpoint when. He burst in and she whipped her head towards the door to look at him.

"What? What's wrong? Lorelai-"

"Blood. Blood. There's blood, Luke." Lorelai said, sliding to the ground against the sink, sobbing into her hands.

"Okay, Lorelai, okay." Luke said, transitioning into fix-it mode almost immediately. "We've got to go to the hospital. We've got to throw on some shoes and go to the hospital." He said, tossing Lorelai some Ugg boots that had been sitting by the bed as he slipped his feet into the ridiculous moccasins Lorelai had bought him for Christmas for times when he didn't want to lace up his boots.

When he came back, the shoes still sat next to Lorelai, whose body was racked with sobs. He pulled gently at Lorelai's legs, getting the shoes onto her feet and pulling her up. She wrapped her arms around his neck and sobbed further into his chest. After deciding that Lorelai wasn't going to make it down the stairs by herself, he scooped her up, carrying her out the door and down the stairs, where he saw Rory standing in her bedroom doorway.

"What's going on?" She asked frantically.

"We're going to the hospital. I'm going to take care of her." Luke told Rory intensely before walking through the door and securing Lorelai in the passenger seat of his truck. He slipped into the front seat, revving the engine and peeling out into the street before even securing his own seatbelt.

"It hurts, Luke, it hurts." Lorelai cried.

"I know, Lorelai, I know. We're going to the hospital. It's going to be okay, I'm going to make it okay." He told her, grinding his teeth as he weaved his way through traffic.

"He's not moving, Luke." Lorelai confessed in a whisper.

The house went from bursting with noise- her mother's sobs, Luke's feet clomping down the stairs- to complete silence in a matter of silence. And Rory hadn't moved. She was stuck in the doorway of her bedroom, unsure of what to do next. Follow her mother? Call her grandmother? Stay here in case her mother or Luke needed something? She started pacing back and forth until she spotted her cell phone, dialing before giving it a second thought.

"If you were going to miss me this much, you could've spent the night." Jess told her.

"Something's wrong with my mom." Rory burst, and the unseen smile Jess had been wearing was wiped away instantly.

"Okay, okay. Where is she?"

"Luke took her to the hospital."

"I'm coming. Just stay calm, okay, Rory? I'm coming."

"Stay on the line please." Rory requested weakly.

"You need shoes, Rory. Do you have shoes?" Jess asked as he slipped into a pair himself and grabbed his keys, trotting down the steps and jogging towards his car.

"Yeah, I have shoes. Now." She answered after a moment.

"Grab a coat. I'm getting into my car now." He told her as he turned his key in the ignition.

"I'm not ready for my mom to die." Rory said in a shaky tone, sitting with her back at the edge of her bed, her head almost between her knees.

"Hey, hey. Nobody's dying tonight, Rory. I'm almost there. Just take a deep breath."

"She couldn't even walk. He carried her out of the house." She told him.

"Yeah, but she's always begging to be carried places."Jess tried to joke.

"Yeah," she agreed weakly.

Jess pulled into Rory's driveway and turned off his car quickly, hopping out of the driver's seat and bursting through the door without knocking. He didn't see her in the living room or the kitchen, so he pushed open her bedroom door gently, finding her sobbing on the ground next to her bed.

"Rory, Rory. Come here. It's okay. Your mom is going to be okay." He said, sitting down next to her and letting her crawl into his lap.

"I'm scared." Rory admitted as she started to calm down a little.

"I know you are. It's okay. Let's go, so a doctor can tell you to stop being scared, because I think you'll trust their opinion over mine." He said, kissing her forehead before he helped her up and to the car.


	17. Chapter 17

_**A/N: Content in this chapter may be triggering**_

Luke had somehow managed to have the presence of mind to call the hospital while he was on the way there, although he wasn't sure what exactly he'd said. He was pretty sure he'd managed to get out "Bleeding," "Pregnant," and "Wife," although the last one was technically a lie. Lorelai was put onto a stretcher directly from the car and Luke immediately got out to follow her into the hospital.

"Sir! Sir, you can't leave your car there. You're in the ambulance bay." A young nurse told him, bringing him out of his thoughts momentarily.

"But she needs me," Luke began to argue, knowing logically that it made no difference to the nurse but needing to be close to Lorelai. The nurse was about to respond when a loud moan of pain came from Lorelai's stretcher.

"Luke!" She called out pleadingly, reaching his arms out to her.

"Give me your keys." The nurse said, extending her hand out to him. He dropped them into her hands without thinking, and rushed to her side.

"I'm here, Lorelai. I'm right here." He said, moving a piece of hair out of her face and squeezing her hand as he rushed with her stretcher and the team of medical professionals that came with it into an elevator.

"Luke, remember what you promised me." Lorelai said, putting a hand on his face. "If it comes down to one of us-"

"No, Lorelai. I didn't make any promises, you did, remember? I get to go first. That was the deal." He told her as they wheeled her into an examination room.

"Guess we didn't think this through too clearly, huh?" She smiled weakly.

"Maybe you didn't." He teased just as lacklusterly in response. "How are you feeling?"

"Better, although I suspect it's more than just saline going through here," she said, raising the arm to which her IV was attached and tapping it lightly with her other hand. "So much for not exposing the baby to anything."

"I think this was for the best." Luke consoled gently.

"He hasn't moved, Luke. He hasn't moved." Lorelai said, tears welling up in her eyes again.

"Shh, shh. It's okay." He told her

"Mr. Danes, we need to perform an ultrasound now," a doctor told him, and Luke hesitantly took a step away from Lorelai.

"When is Dr. Sullivan coming?" Lorelai asked as the unfamiliar doctor poured the gel onto Lorelai's stomach.

"Dr. Sullivan will be in soon. I'm Dr. Raines, I'll be taking care of you in the interim." The doctor introduced himself as he moved the wand over her abdomen. Lorelai gripped the side of her bedrails and let out a scream of pain, the now aggressive beeping of the monitors she was attached to adding to the cacophony of noise.

"Somebody tell me what's going on? It hurts, goddamnit, it hurts!" She yelled, and Luke was at her side in an instant.

"Ms. Gilmore, you have a severe placental abruption. I'm going to take you into surgery now. Just take a few deep breaths for me so I can administer an anesthetic." He said assertively as other nurses and doctors rushed in, tending to Lorelai and preparing her for movement.

"Mr. Danes, it's time for you to go to a waiting room," A nurse started, but Luke interrupted her quickly.

"Like hell it is," he said, following Lorelai and her team out of the room.

When Jess and Rory came through the hospital doors, Rory was still shaking, and she thought that she might have fallen over if Jess wasn't there to hold her up. He led her over to the nurse's station and started talking to the nurse, although Rory was too caught in her own thoughts to hear any of what they said. After a moment, Jess was tugging on her again, encouraging her gently to move in the direction he was pulling her. One foot in front of the other. Just focus on not falling over. She looked up when she heard the beeping of a distressed monitor ahead, seeing her mother's face writhing in pain at the intersection of two hallways.

"Mom!" Rory yelled, leaving Jess behind and booking it down the corridor towards her mother, who was moving quickly away from her. Luke appeared from the direction her mother had just come from and stopped Rory, scooping her in his arms and pulling her into his chest.

"Luke, mom. I need mom. I need my mom." Rory repeated over and over, trying to squirm out of Luke's strong arms and run after her.

"Shh, Rory, shh." Luke tried to console her, running a hand through her hair and rubbing her back gently.

"She can't die, Luke. She's my mommy and my dad doesn't give a fuck about me so she can't die." She begged.

"Shh, Rory, shh. Nobody's dying." He whispered, wanting to believe it.

"I'd be an orphan." Rory realized.

"You're not an orphan, because nobody's dying." Luke corrected her.

"Luke," Rory whimpered, burrowing her face deeper into his flannel as if she could stop everything around her if she didn't see it.

"I'm here, Rory. You've got me. You've always got me, okay? You'll always have me and your mom."

Jess had long since caught up to Rory, but gave her a moment to be comforted by Luke. "Ror, I think we should sit down for a minute, yeah? Try and take a few deep breaths." Jess suggested, placing a gentle hand on the small of her back.

"I can't. I can't sit, I can't calm down, I can't, I can't not do anything. What can I do?" Rory said manically, beginning to pace up and down the waiting room, then bursting into a sob again.

"Ma'am, can I offer you a more private space?" an orderly asked Rory, who was clearly in no state to be answering questions.

"No, no, I'm fine. I'm good, thanks." Rory dismissed the nurse, waving her off.

"Rory, I really think you should-" Luke started, but was cut off by Rory when an idea came to her.

"I'm gonna call Paris. Paris is like, almost a doctor. Paris will know what to do." Rory told herself softly as she reached for her cellphone.

"Hey, Paris. No, sorry, I honestly didn't realize how early it is. My mom's in the hospital. I, uh, I don't know. They took her in for surgery. Like, 15 minutes ago. No, Paris, you don't have to come all the way up here. Jess is here, so. Yes, Jess. No, I'm not delusional. I don't know, it's something with the baby. I was hoping you would know. Right. Right. You're right. Listen, I'll call you when I know more, alright? Thanks for not calling me crazy or telling me to sit down. I'll talk to you soon." Rory hung up her phone, her lip quivering again. Jess took her into his arms before a sob erupted from her lips. A doctor approached Luke, who was looking on helplessly.

"Mr. Danes?" He asked.

"Is Lorelai okay?" he asked, turning around.

"Lorelai is still in surgery. I was going to ask if we could do something for your daughter?" He asked, eyeing Rory. Luke didn't think to correct the man, she was as good as his.

"Do something for her?" Luke asked.

"We could give her something to calm her down. Unfortunately if she can't keep herself under control and she won't go to a private room, we'll have to ask her to leave. Of course, I don't want that, and I understand how she's feeling. So, it's up to you, but we could give her something to settle her."

Luke looked at Rory, the grown woman who now looked so small, sobs racking her petite frame as his nephew held her weakly in his arms. He took a deep breath. Sometimes, being the adult really sucked.

"Hey, Rory, hey, come here. Come on. The doctor's going to give you something." Luke said, urging her to follow him. Jess, placing a hand on her back, also encouraged her movements.

"No, Luke, I don't want anything, no, no, no." Rory said, starting to work herself up again and almost launching into a tantrum.

"Rory, Rory, look at me, please." Luke said, grasping Rory gently by the shoulders. "Everything's going to be fine, but we need you need to calm down a little, alright? You're going to worry yourself into a heart attack and if you're in a bed too I'll lose my mind. So I need you to do this for me, okay? We're just going to give you a little something that's going to let you breathe. Rory, you know I wouldn't ever let anything happen to you or your mom, so just take a deep breath. I'm right here with you. Everything is going to be fine, but let's just get some medicine in you so you can breathe."

"Okay, okay." She said, looking at Luke. "Okay." She said, nodding slightly at the doctor, who gave her a quick shot of something, she didn't think to ask what. It felt warm as it flowed through her and as Luke had told her, she felt her heart rate dramatically decreasing a few moments later. Her breathing returned to normal. She was still scared, but it was starting to feel less like cardiac arrest.

"How are you feeling?" Jess asked a few minutes later from a chair next to her in the waiting room.

"Better. It feels more like rational fear and less like a heart attack now."

"It's okay to be scared."

"How is Luke?" She asked, not seeing him in the immediate vicinity.

"His usual self, trying to be strong for everybody else."

"Where is he now?" She asked.

"He said he was going for a walk."

"You good?" She asked as she let her head fall onto his shoulder.

"Glad you're feeling better." He told her, squeezing her hand and rubbing circles over the back of it with his thumb. They sat there in silence for a moment before Jess heard the gentle rise and fall of Rory's even breaths and realized she was asleep. Made sense, she must have been exhausted. After a few more minutes, Luke walked back into the waiting room.

"The drugs?" He asked, referencing the peacefully sleeping Rory.

"I think the drugs just cleared her head enough to let her realize how exhausted she really was." Jess theorized, and Luke nodded, accepting his nephew's theory.

"Where'd you run off too?" Jess asked, wondering if he'd learned anything about Lorelai's condition.

"Had to get my keys from an ER nurse." He explained briefly.

"What?" Jess questioned.

"Long story." Luke dismissed, shaking his head.

"So now we wait?"

"Now, we wait."


	18. Chapter 18

_**A/N: Content in this chapter may be triggering.**_

Luke's head flicked up with every doctor, nurse, and orderly that dared to walk through the waiting room. He hated waiting rooms. The chairs were uncomfortable, the lights were migraine inducing, and the waiting, oh the waiting was agony. He looked across the room, to the chair he was sitting in when his father told him and Liz that his mother was gone. He turned his head, seeing the chair he sat in when a doctor who couldn't have been more than 10 years older than he was at the time tell him that he'd lost his father, too. Looking down at the chair he was sitting in in disgust, he stood up and started pacing. He looked over to Rory and Jess. Rory was still asleep. At some point, Jess had picked her up and brought the two of them over to a couch so she could lay more comfortably. Her head was in his lap, and he was biding time by running his fingers through her hair. Finally, finally, Dr. Sullivan appeared in the waiting room.

"Luke," She called gently and he was next to her in an instant.

"Lorelai's out of surgery. She's tired, but she's doing great."

Had they not been standing next to a counter he could use to lean against, he was certain he would have fallen over. He felt his knees buckle, but managed to stay upright.

"Thank you." He managed to breathe out.

"I'm so incredibly sorry to have to deliver this news, but the baby wasn't strong enough. We managed to get him out, but his heart had stopped growing, and he couldn't handle the abruption. I'm so sorry, Mr. Danes."

"Does Lorelai-"

"Lorelai's still asleep. We can tell her when she wakes up, or you can-"

"I'll do it. Can I go see her now?"

"You can. Would you like me to talk to your kids?" She asked, looking over to the couch where Rory and Jess were resting.

"No, I'll take care of them. Thanks."

"She's in room 124, when you're ready."

"Thank you, Doctor." Luke said again before walking over to Jess and the still sleeping Rory.

"Lorelai's okay." He told Jess quietly. "I'm going to go see her now."

"Should I wake Rory?" Jess asked, looking up at his uncle.

"No, let her sleep. I'm not sure what kind of state Lorelai's going to be when I tell her.." He said, trailing off.

"When you tell her?" Jess questioned.

"The baby didn't make it." He said, the words hitting him square in the chest like a ton of bricks as he spoke them.

"I'm so sorry."

"Lorelai is alive. If that was the trade, then that's what it was."

"Luke, it's okay to be upset about this."

"Not yet it isn't. I've got to get to Lorelai. You'll be good here?"

"Yeah, I've got it here." He said. "Go."

"Thanks, Jess." Luke said, taking off down the hallway.

When he burst into her room, Lorelai was still asleep, her dark hair a stark contrast against the sterile white of the hospital pillowcase. The gentle rise and fall of her chest gave him pause: there she was. She was his Lorelai, his girl, the only woman he had ever pictured "the whole package" with, and she was alive. She was safe. He took the few steps to cross the room and be next to her, stroking a thumb across her hairline before kissing her forehead. Pulling up a chair, he took her hand in his and sat, perfectly content to just sit until she woke up. About ten minutes later, she stirred, and Luke leaned in a little closer.

"Lorelai, sweetheart?" Luke whispered, and Lorelai opened her eyes, their piercing blue striking Luke to his core. He smiled quickly, thanking God he'd have many more moments to be struck breathless by her eyes.

"You watching me sleep?" She asked.

"Guess I was."

"We're at the hospital, right? I remember the car, I remember… Oh, god. Why can't I feel anything in my abdomen?" She asked, reaching a hand to feel her belly.

"Careful, Lorelai. Careful, you've got an incision." He said quickly, trying to stop her hand and failing.

"I'm not pregnant anymore. Luke, why am I not pregnant anymore? Where's my baby, Luke? Where is Ben?" She asked, starting to get hysterical.

"Lorelai," Luke started, and the look on his face told her everything she never wanted to hear.

"No." She said, tears now streaming down her face.

"Lorelai," he tried again.

"You promised, Luke! You promised me!" She said, now in full blown hysterics.

"It wasn't up to me, Lorelai. They took you both away. I didn't know if I was ever going to see either of you ever again." He said, starting to cry himself.

"You promised me, Luke. You promised."

"I know, Lorelai, I know. I'm sorry." He told her, pulling the bar on the side of her bed down so he could climb into bed with her. It was tight, but they'd made it work in his single bed plenty of times. And he needed to be close to her now.

"You promised." She repeated, throwing her arms around his neck and sobbing into his chest.

"I'm sorry, Lorelai. I'm so sorry." He told her, rubbing her back gently

"We failed him," She breathed out on a shaky breath.

"We did not fail him." Luke corrected her firmly, but gently. "We supported him. We did our best. Sometimes these things happen, Lorelai."

"He's gone."

"Yeah."

"Like, gone-gone."

"Lorelai."

"I never even got to meet him."

"Me neither."

"Do you think he looked like you?"

"Maybe."

"I'm a failure as a mother."

"No, Lorelai. You know that's not true."

"He died, Luke. I failed."

"Lorelai, please."

"Tell me what happened."

"Are you sure you want to do this now?"

"Yes, Luke. I just… I just need to know this wasn't me."

"It wasn't you."

"Please, Luke."

"You had a placental abruption. It wasn't safe for you or the baby, so they had to take him out. They took him out, but his heart hadn't been growing. He just wasn't strong enough yet." Luke said, trying to wipe away his own tears without Lorelai seeing. "It wasn't you. He just wasn't strong enough." He choked out.

"I'm sorry, Luke." She cried.

"No, Lorelai, you don't have anything to be sorry for." He told her. "Just go back to sleep, you need your rest."

 _ **A/N: I know this is incredibly sad, but just know that the story doesn't end here. Obviously Luke and Lorelai will need to grieve and recover, but I promise things won't stay sad forever.**_


	19. Chapter 19

Not too long after Luke had gone to check on Lorelai, Rory began to stir in Jess's lap. She turned towards him and opened her eyes, looking straight up at him.

"Hi," he told her quietly.

"Hi," She responded hoarsely.

"How are you feeling?" He asked, brushing a piece of hair out of her face.

"Tired." She responded, and Jess chuckled a little. "How long was I out for?"

"I don't know, maybe three hours." He estimated.

"And you've just been sitting here, playing with my hair the whole time?" She asked.

"There's 173,496 black dots on the ceiling," He told her, gesturing up to the white tiled ceiling with the speckled pattern.

Rory didn't say anything for a moment, but the question was clear in Rory's scared, blue doe-eyes. Jess leaned in close, kissing Rory's forehead before responding.

"Your mom is okay. She just got out of surgery. Luke went in to check on her probably 15 minutes ago."

"I want to go see her," Rory said, swinging her legs off of the sofa and starting to get up.

"Woah, woah. Rory," Jess said, grabbing an arm to stall her. "She might still be asleep." He protested weakly, trying to delay the inevitable bad news for as long as he possibly could.

"I don't care. I need to see her." Rory said, pulling Jess off of the sofa as well.

"Rory," Jess said, pulling her in by the midsection to stall her again. "Rory, the baby didn't make it. Luke went to go tell her that the baby didn't make it. She might need some time."

Although it was the truth, and Jess knew that someone would have to tell Rory eventually, he wished feverently that it wasn't, and that no one did, because he saw his girlfriend's heart shatter through her eyes, and he knew that the simple act of pulling her into his chest and letting her cry would solve nothing. There was nothing he could do to make this better except be there, and while that would never be enough, at least it was something.

"Rory, you've been here all night. Why don't we go home and let you have a shower and then we'll come back and see your mom, yeah?"

"I was so scared." She whispered.

"I know, but you don't have to be scared anymore because your mom's fine, alright? She's got Luke here with her, so let's just go home for an hour and we can come back, sound good?" Jess said, trying to look her in the eye.

"Uh, yeah. Alright, yeah." Rory agreed, nodding a little as she wiped a couple of tears away from her eyes.

"I'm just going to go find Luke and tell him we're headed out. Just sit tight here for a bit." He said, kissing her on the temple before he walked off, hesitant to leave her at a time like this, but not wanting her to see her mother in hysterics.

He walked off, eventually seeing Luke walking towards him in a hallway. "How is she?" They both asked each other at the same time, and Jess gestured for Luke to answer first.

"She's okay, considering." Luke answered in the typical Danes economy of words. "How's Rory?"

"Okay, considering." He repeated.

"She awake now?" He asked.

"Yeah, she woke up, and started off towards Lorelai's room before she even had her eyes all the way open. I told her she might need a little time. I told her why she might need a little time." Jess said, emphasizing the last sentence.

"I could've done that. You didn't have to do that," Luke said, feeling bad that the task ended up on his nephew's shoulders. He knew more than anyone should just how hard it was.

"I couldn't not tell her. Felt wrong, like keeping a secret. She needed to know, and I was there, so." Jess explained.

"Yeah," Luke sympathized.

"Lorelai asleep?" Jess asked.

"Yeah, for now." Luke answered.

"I talked Rory into going home and taking a shower. We'll be back in an hour or so. Do you need anything?" Jess offered.

"If you could bring back a pair of my jeans and my boots, and some clothes for Lorelai. She's got an incision, so no jeans or anything. A pair of sweatpants would be best." Luke asked of his nephew, and Jess nodded. "Take care of her." Luke added.

"You too," Jess responded, going back to Rory.

When Jess found Rory, she was sitting up in a hospital waiting room chair, looking straight ahead, facing away from him. He approached her gingerly, laying a gentle hand on her shoulder before crouching down to whisper in her ear.

"Hey, you about ready to go?" He asked.

"Huh? Oh, yeah, uh huh." Rory confirmed, standing up and taking Jess's hand to walk out of the hospital and back out towards the car.

"I'm going to pack some fresh clothes for Luke while you're in the shower, you think you could pack some for Lorelai?" Jess asked as they drove towards home.

"What was that?" Rory asked, looking away from the window and back towards him.

"Could you pack some clean clothes for your mom? Sweatpants, a t-shirt, something to wear out of the hospital?" Jess reiterated, growing concerned.

"Oh, yeah. I can do that, no problem." Rory responded.

"You okay?" Jess asked, putting a hand on her leg in an attempt to comfort her.

"I mean, how okay can I be right now?" She asked, almost letting out a bitter laugh at the idea of being okay right now.

"Fair point," Jess addressed. "But you'd talk to me, right? You know I'm here?" Jess asked, sneaking a peek at her before turning his eyes back to the road.

"I know." Rory assured him. "Thank you. For staying, for answering the phone when I called in the middle of the night in hysterics, for not asking me to explain how I'm feeling. Thank you."

"Nothing to thank me for," Jess dismissed as he pulled the car around a street corner.


	20. Chapter 20

After the additional time barrier of her shower and packing up things for her mother, Rory was anxious to see Lorelai. Sure, Jess had told her that she was fine, and she believed him, but that was different from seeing her with her own eyes. Rory's leg bounced anxiously in the car and she nearly dove out of the passenger side once Jess parked.

"Easy, speedy." Jess urged, taking her arm and walking her in at a more responsible pace.

When they got to Lorelai's room. She was sitting up, Luke in a chair next to her, neither of them saying anything.

"Hi mommy," Rory said weakly.

"Hey, baby," Lorelai replied, equal in tone, her voice catching in her throat.

"We'll give you two a minute," Luke said, standing up and gesturing for Jess to follow as he left the room.

"So, Jess, huh?" Lorelai asked.

"I told you that last night," Rory teased weakly.

"I know. He just really got thrown into the thick of it, huh?" Lorelai expanded.

"Mom," Rory said.

"Come here," Lorelai said, extending her arms to her daughter, who promptly rushed to her mother's side and climbed into bed with her, crying softly.

"I was so, so scared." She whispered.

"I know, baby. I know." Lorelai consoled, rubbing her daughter's back.

"They had to drug me." Rory confessed.

"What?" Lorelai asked, moving a little so she could look at her daughter.

"I think they pumped me full of xanax or something. I was on my way to a pretty respectable mental breakdown until a nice doctor gave me a little shot and I fell asleep." Rory explained further, letting out a watery chuckle.

"They knocked you out?" Lorelai asked.

"No, I think the medicine just let me realize how exhausted I was. Worrying about you is a pretty tiring job." She teased.

"It's why Luke has to go to bed by 9 every night." Lorelai agreed.

There was a knock on the door and it opened to reveal Luke, followed by Jess. They came back in and shut the door behind them.

"Everything good in here?" Luke asked, and Rory climbed out of her mother's hospital bed.

"Yeah, we're good." Rory answered, wiping at her eyes.

"Brought some fresh clothes." Jess said, putting the bags he must have grabbed from the car in a chair.

"I took some time off of work." Rory confessed.

"Oh, Rory, no. You go back to work. Everything's okay here." Lorelai rushed to encourage her daughter.

"I'm not leaving right now." Rory said stubbornly.

"Rory," Lorelai started.

"No, mom. It isn't happening."

"Hey! I am still the mom here." Lorelai interjected sharply. "We are fine. You can go back to work. You _should_ go back to work. Things should be as normal as possible."

Rory just sighed, anticipating this resistance from the most stubborn woman she knew, her mother. Before she could speak up again, a doctor walked in.

"If everyone could excuse us for a moment, I have a few post-operative tests for Ms. Gilmore," The doctor asked politely, and Luke, Jess and Rory all left the room. Rory decided to continue their conversation in the hallway, away from her mother's obstinacy.

"We're not leaving. We're both staying." Rory said to Luke, speaking for both her and Jess. They had discussed it back at the house: Luke and Lorelai both would need them around, even if they didn't want to admit it to themselves.

"I know. I think you're right. But Lorelai doesn't have the energy to fight you right now, and she doesn't want to be an impediment to your career. You know she would hate to think you gave anything up on her account." Luke said, trying to give Lorelai's side some clarity.

"That's ridiculous. She's my mom. She's more important." Rory said, knowing it was obviously true.

"I know, Rory, I know. But I can't very well argue with her and bring you back to the house." Luke explained his predicament.

"I'll stay in the apartment with Jess. After a few days she'll realize she wants me there and I'll come back home." Rory formulated a plan.

"And you'll just avoid each other in town until then?" Luke asked theoretically, attempting to poke a hole in her plan.

"Well, yes." Rory responded as if it were that simple.

"Rory, that's insane." Luke told her.

"It could work." Jess theorized aloud. "I don't think it will take very long for Lorelai to cave and admit she wishes Rory were home."

"I'm too old for this crap." Luke shook his head. "Look, you two are adults. I can't force you to go home." Luke said, knowing it was an excuse just for Lorelai, not for them.

"I knew you'd see things my way." Rory smiled.

After Lorelai's post-op appointment, the doctor told Lorelai that she would be free to go as soon as the discharge forms were filed and signed. Lorelai insisted that Rory and Jess head back to Stars Hollow and get some sleep, and she and Luke waited around a little while longer for the forms, eventually being wheeled out only about half an hour later.

"You're awful quiet," Luke remarked softly, taking his hand in hers as they drove down the freeway.

"What is there to say?" Lorelai scoffed, not at him, but at the situation.

"Penny for your thoughts." Luke encouraged, hoping and praying that she wouldn't shut him out.

"We were supposed to come home with a baby." Lorelai said, and the weight of her sentence was palpable in the truck.

"I know," Luke said solemnly.

"You were supposed to wheel me and our baby out of that hospital, and I was supposed to ride in the backseat of the Jeep because I loved our baby so much that I couldn't even stand to be away from him for the 15 minute drive." Lorelai ranted sadly.

"I know." Luke agreed. There was a moment of heavy silence before Luke spoke up again. "Lorelai, do you trust me?" He asked genuinely, and Lorelai answered without a moment's hesitation.

"Of course I do. More than anyone." She told him.

"Do you trust me enough to believe me if I told you that everything was going to be okay?"

"I wish I did. I want to." Lorelai confessed.

"Do you trust me enough to believe that I love you?" Luke asked.

"Without a doubt." She told him.

"That'll do."


	21. Chapter 21

"You hungry?" Luke asked as they walked through the door of their house after leaving the hospital. He quickly peeked in to check on the sleeping Rory as he made his way into the kitchen.

"No, not really." Lorelai said passively as she leaned against the kitchen doorway, watching Luke rifle through the cabinets and then stop to look at her.

"Lorelai, you've got to eat something." Luke admonished gently.

"I'll eat when Rory wakes up," she appeased him. Can we just go upstairs?" She asked.

"You think you can make it up?" He asked.

"I'm not in any pain." Lorelai said, referring to her incision. "I'm pretty sure the doctor pumped me full of oxy before I left, and there's a prescription if I need more." Lorelai assured him.

"You want me to fill it?" Luke asked.

"Not yet," She told him. "I want you to come to bed with me. Please." She begged.

He looked over at her, and she was almost pouting, but there was a new, desperately sad quality to the pout that he'd never seen before. There was no denying her anything anymore. The face just about broke his heart, as if the events of the past few days hadn't already crushed it.

"Come on, let's go upstairs," He said, taking her hands and leading her to bed.

Lorelai quickly unclasped her bra, tossing it in the general direction of their laundry bin as they walked into the bedroom. She threw her hair up into a bun at the top of her head and collapsed into her side of the bed, getting under the covers quickly. Luke followed soon after, changing into a pair of sweatpants and cuddling up next to her, putting an arm around her waist and lifting himself up to plant a kiss on her neck, beneath her ear.

"Everything is going to be okay. You and I are okay. We will be okay." He whispered to her with so much quiet conviction that she almost felt bad for doubting him.

"I love you." she whispered to him in response.

"I love you too."

The next afternoon, Lorelai gave her daughter a goodbye hug and sent her off with Jess to catch a flight back home to DC. Instead, Jess drove her around the block and back to the apartment above the diner.

"I know we're doing the right thing, but I still feel bad lying to my mom." Rory admitted, frowning as she unpacked her bag into a drawer.

"You shouldn't feel bad. She needs you here, she'll see that soon. It's just a white lie. Just like the-" Jess stopped himself before finishing his sentence.

"Just like the shower. Just like the baby shower." Rory finished for him, forcing herself to say the words. "God, that was four days ago." She let out a bitter chuckle.

"You're allowed to be upset, too, you know. It was her son, their son, but he was also your brother." Jess told her.

"I know," Rory said sadly. "I know, and I am. I was excited to have a little brother, and I am sad, but I'm so much more sad for my mom and Luke than I am for me. They deserved this, you know? God, Luke is such a good dad. He deserved a chance to get to be a part of all of it."

"Yeah," Jess agreed. "So, how long do you think you can stay without the country collapsing due to your political absence?"

"I told my boss I was taking indefinite time off. Bereavement is paid. I've only got a week of that. But I have some vacation time saved up that I could use, too. How long can you stay?"

"I've got to go up tomorrow and check on some things at Truncheon, but the rest of my job I can do from anywhere. I could move back here, really, if I wanted to."

"That's really nice." Rory smiled, wishing she had the same opportunities.

"You want to come with me to Philly tomorrow?" Jess asked.

"Take your girlfriend to work day?" Rory teased.

"I just figure it's better than hiding out up here and avoiding Lorelai." Jess told her. "You don't have to come if you don't want to, or if you're not feeling up to it. I understand."

"No, I want to." Rory assured him.

"Good," Jess smirked. "The guys are really excited to meet you."

"Oh my god, wait. They already know who I am? There are expectations? What did you tell them?" Rory asked, working herself up into a respectable panic.

"I told them that we dated in high school. I told them that you're in the White House press corps. I told them that you're brilliant-",

"Oh, great, now they're going to expect me to engage in political debate." Rory exclaimed, frustrated.

"And you'll be able to take them head to head." He assured her, and then continued on with his growing list. "I told them that you love movies and junk food and coffee, and I told them that I haven't been able to shake my feelings for you since we met 7 years ago."

"7 years… seems like a lifetime." Rory said, thinking back to their first kiss at Sookie's wedding all those years ago.

"A lot has changed. A lot has stayed the same." Jess agreed.

"You know, Luke and my mom were friends for 8 years before they started dating." Rory mentioned offhandedly.

"So we beat them by a whole year?" Jess asked in a mock-tone of excitement.

"Yeah, that's exactly what I was getting at." She responded sarcastically.

"Sweet." He responded in an equally droll tone of voice.

"Although if you want to be technical, we beat them 7 years ago when we started dating."

"Yeah, but this time it's sticking." He said, only a moment after realizing that maybe he had gone too far, and looking over at her, shocked at himself and hoping that maybe she hadn't heard. She had, and she smiled as she took his hand.

"This time it's sticking." She assured him gently as she squeezed his hand and he smiled, leaning over to kiss her.


	22. Chapter 22

"Don't be nervous," Jess told Rory as he pulled into the alley parking lot behind Truncheon Publishing Corporation.

"I'm not nervous." Rory lied, answering far too quickly to be believable in any way.

"Oh, really?" Jess teased. "So you're bouncing your leg and tapping my dash mercilessly just for…"

"Just for the kicks, honestly." She said sarcastically, conceding to him, and he laughed.

"Don't be nervous, they'll love you." He told her, leaning over the center console to kiss her quickly. "How could they not?"

"You're biased." She accused him.

"I'm not a journalist. I'm allowed to be biased." He reminded her. "Stop stalling. Let's go," He smiled, and she followed him out of the car and up to the Truncheon office.

"Anybody around?" He called out as he made his way up the stairs, "Or did you all take off because you didn't think I'd be back this early?" He asked, and Rory chuckled as two men appeared from a small kitchen.

"I can't believe you think that little of us." The first man responded.

"Honestly, you have no faith at all." The second one agreed.

"You brought a friend." The first friend noticed.

"Wow, Matt. Nothing gets by you."

"I'm Rory." Rory introduced herself, extending her hand for Matt to shake.

"Matt," the first man greeted.

"Chris," the second man introduced himself.

"So you're Rory." Matt questioned.

"Uh, yep. That's what they've been telling me." Rory joked nervously.

"Like, Rory-rory?" Chris asked, looking at Jess.

"Hey, guys. Please feel free to make this even more uncomfortable. Truly, go all out. Don't hold back. Can't wait to see your worst." Jess interjected.

"Sorry, man." Matt laughed. "Just a little surprised is all."

"Listen, I've got a couple of things to take care of in the system, and then I thought I'd show my girl the city. Can you two handle yourself for a little while longer? Some things came up and I really need to be in Stars Hollow right now."

"Take all the time you need, man." Matt told him genuinely.

"Show your girl the city of love," Chris cooed teasingly.

"It's the city of brotherly love, jackass." Matt responded.

"Okay, well, Rory and I will be in my office if you need anything after your little lover's quarrell." Jess smirked, taking Rory's hand and leading her to his office, shutting the door behind them. "See, that wasn't awful. It was terribly uncomfortable and awkward. But it was nothing like the dozens of ridiculous scenarios I'm sure you spent the entire car ride up here daydreaming about." Jess teased her as he moved to sit behind his desk and booted up his computer.

"No, it wasn't much like anything my imagination conjured." Rory agreed with a small laugh as she sat herself in a chair in front of his desk. "Better than some, definitely far more awkward than others." She considered as she crossed one leg over the other while Jess quickly typed away on his computer.

"They mean well." Jess defended apologetically.

"Oh, I know they do." Rory assured him. "They're sweet. They seem nice. They care about you."

"They're good guys." He agreed.

"I'm sure they are." Rory smiled. "Hey, am I going to get a cheese steak out of this deal?" Rory asked excitedly a moment later, essentially ditching the previous subject.

"A cheese steak?" Jess asked incredulously.

"I hear they're kind of a big deal around these parts." Rory understated playfully.

"You think I brought you all the way out here and my big master plan was a sandwich?" Jess asked.

"Well, a really famous sandwich." Rory supplemented.

"Yes, Rory, we can get you a cheese steak." Jess patronized, and Rory smiled brightly.

"Wow! I can't wait to see the rest of the plan." She said with a teasing saccharine sense of wonder.

The big master plan, as it turned out, was a day full to the brim with activity. The day was perfect: the sun was warm and the sights weren't crowded, so Rory and Jess refused to waste even a second of it. As soon as Jess had finished all of the work he had needed to take care of at Truncheon, they took off for the Liberty bell, and later a tour of Independance Hall, which piqued Rory's political interests, as she hadn't had time to visit many of these touristy, although politically significant, sites while she had been reporting on the campaign trail for then-senator, now President Obama. He then drove them to the Philadelphia Museum of Art, which Rory fully enjoyed even though Jess refused to re-enact the scene from Rocky for her. They walked through Rittenhouse Square and reminisced about the time Rory had cut class and hopped on a bus to New York to go see Jess, what seemed like a lifetime ago. They capped off their day by getting Rory's heavily desired cheese steak at Reading Terminal Market, and after an incredibly full day, got onto the highway and headed towards home.

"I think I maybe just saw all of Philly in one day." Rory said, exhausted, as she rested her head back in Jess's car.

"Please. You barely saw a quarter of Philly today." He teased her.

"Well, I guess that's just all the more reason to come back." She smiled.

"Yeah, I guess you'll just have to swing by and visit once or twice." He smiled in agreement.

"Or maybe more than that." Rory suggested.

"Nah, probably not." He shut down teasingly, and Rory laughed.

"Jess, thank you for today. Really. I had such a good time." She told him genuinely.

"Seeing you smile made it all worth it." He told her.

"You softie," she accused.

"I mean it." he told her. "Rory, I know you're hurting right now. But if running around Philly until the sun goes down is going to get you to smile again, I'll invest in a pair of good sneakers. I mean that. I just want to be the guy that makes you happy." He told her, and Rory's eyes watered a little.

"You are, Jess. You so are."


	23. Chapter 23

_**A/N: There's a bit of language in this chapter if you're sensitive to that!**_

When Luke awoke a few mornings later, he rolled over to find Lorelai still sleeping soundly. That was good, he thought, knowing she had had a hard time falling asleep the night before. That hadn't been unusual lately. He had felt her toss and turn next to him while he also struggled to fall asleep, so it was good to know she was resting now. He, however, was currently wide awake, and suspected she didn't have much longer before she woke up too. He rolled out of bed gently, not wanting to wake her before it was time, and headed gingerly into the bathroom to take a quick shower. He heard Lorelai stir from the bathroom, but found her with her eyes closed when he came out from his rinse. He got changed quickly and went downstairs to start up her breakfast, beginning as he always did by putting a fresh filter in the machine and scooping in way too many grounds to put the coffee pot on for Lorelai. After he had finished up pancakes, bacon, and the aforementioned coffee, he headed back upstairs to check on Lorelai. She was laying in bed, staring up at the ceiling. She looked over when she heard the door open.

"Hey," Luke started quiety.

"Morning." Lorelai responded.

"I made breakfast." Luke told her.

"Thanks, sweetheart, but I'm not all that hungry." Lorelai deflected.

"It's past 10, and you didn't eat dinner last night." Luke countered.

"I just don't have much of an appetite, must be from the pain meds." Lorelai attempted to explain, but Luke wasn't having it.

"Lorelai, you shouldn't be taking those on an empty stomach anyway."

"Luke-" Lorelai started, but she was cut off.

"You need to eat something. End of sentence. Not up for discussion." Luke said sternly, but gently. "I made you pancakes and bacon, but if you don't want that, I can bring up some toast or eggs and your coffee-"

"No coffee." Lorelai interrupted, and Luke shot her a confused look. "Sorry, I mean, uh. No thank you. Just some toast is fine, babe."

Luke nodded, trying to take Lorelai's mood in stride, and went back downstairs to make her toast. He thought about putting peanut butter on it, trying to get some protein in her system, but knew that this would just make her more likely to eat less and settled for the butter. He brought the toast back up to her and helped her to sit up in bed so she could eat it.

"So, I know we had discussed me going back to work tomorrow, but if you're not ready-" Luke started, but Lorelai cut her off.

"No, Luke. It's time. You took three days off to take care of me, more consecutive days than I think you've taken in years. I'll go back at the start of next week like the doctor recommended. Things have got to go back to normal sometime." Lorelai protested.

"Are you sure? I have no hesitations about taking more time off to make sure you're taken care of-"

"I'm an adult woman, Luke, I can take care of myself. It's fine, really." Lorelai argued.

"You know I'm just trying to help you, right?" Luke asked genuinely.

"Yes," Lorelai answered, a little disappointed in herself for snapping at Luke when she knew he meant well.

"I think we should try and get you in the shower today." Luke mentioned.

"Luke, I can't get out of bed." Lorelai protested weakly. "I just don't have the energy."

"You don't have the energy, or you don't have the willpower?" Luke asked, and Lorelai was shocked.

"Luke." She said, upset.

"Lorelai, I'm sorry. I really am. I don't want to make you hurt any more than you already are. But you can't give up on me, Lorelai. You can't. I won't allow it. We have so much left. We have so much time left. We still have all of our middle. So we can't lose that. We're going to be sad for a while. A long time, maybe, because this one fucking hurt. It hurt like a bitch. So we can be sad, but we can't shut down, okay? We can't shut down because I need you." He confessed to her, and she understood. She nodded solemnly before she stood up.

"Let's take a shower then." She responded.

"Come on, I'll wash your hair." He told her, helping her out of bed and into the bathroom.

She peeled the sleep clothes off of her body as he turned the hot water on. Lorelai ran a gentle finger over her incision, watching it trace the curved path in the mirror, and Luke reached for her hand gently after he slipped out of his sweatpants, kissing the tip of her finger.

"I love that incision. That incision is the reason I got to keep you. That's what that is, alright?" Luke told her, not wanting her to consider what else it meant.

Lorelai only nodded in response, her lips wrought in a tight line. He stepped into the shower and extended a hand to help her, stepping back to allow her to rinse her body under the warm water. She tilted her head back, letting the stream cascade through her hair and down her back, and then turned around with her back to Luke. He started massaging her scalp with the shampoo, and chills ran up Lorelai's arms because of how good it felt. It felt so good, but she couldn't help but feel anything but sad. She felt herself start to tear up, but held it together until he told her she could turn around and rinse. She blinked and let a few tears run down her face as she turned around, rushing to defend herself.

"This isn't me giving up, okay? Because I'm in here, getting clean even though I just want to sit in bed and hide from the world. This is just me being sad. I'm not giving up. I'm Lorelai freaking Gilmore. I don't give up." She told him, managing to hold it together although the tears were freely flowing.

"I never doubted you," Luke told her simply, and Lorelai came undone because she knew he was telling the truth. She wrapped her arms around his neck and wept into his chest, and he just held her, knowing it was all he could do. The steam billowed around them, and although at the moment they were both hurting, they knew full well that they were healing, too. Luke kissed Lorelai's forehead and allowed her her grief, believing without a doubt that she wouldn't give up.


	24. Chapter 24

The next day, Lorelai woke up alone as Luke had returned to work. She had asked him to do it, and she knew that, but that didn't make waking up to cold sheets any more comforting, especially considering how quickly she had grown accustomed to waking up with her handsome man next to her. She rolled over to find a post-it note on her bedside table. She picked it up and brought it close to her face, attempting to blink the tired blurriness out of her eyes so she could discern the messy scrawl on the paper.

" _Remember that I love you. Luke."_

Six words, but that was all it took to remind Lorelai why she needed to get out of bed. She wasn't giving up. She was Lorelai freaking Gilmore. She pulled her legs out from under the covers and brought them to the floor, deciding to relish in the feeling of the carpet against her toes. She felt it because she was alive. She felt it because she had time left. She stood up, stretching her arms up above her head and letting them fall back down. She got dressed, brushed her teeth, and even put a comb through her hair, which was more than she could really say for the past few days. Feeling especially proud of herself, she changed into a pair of comfy pants and a t-shirt. A small step up from pajamas, but still a step nonetheless.

The only challenge left was making it out of the bedroom. She'd been asleep when Luke left, which meant that he hadn't been able to make her breakfast before going to work. But she could go downstairs and make herself breakfast. It was her kitchen. It was her house, damn it, and she refused to be held as a hostage inside of it. She had hidden inside her bedroom for the past three days. The time for hiding was over. She slipped her uggs onto her feet to protect them from the cold tile floor downstairs, took a deep breath, and swung her bedroom door open, almost rushing down the staircase before she could think better of it. It was only once she entered the kitchen that she remembered her cooking blind spot. Laughing to herself, she reached into the cabinet for an English muffin. It wasn't a Luke's breakfast, and it was 10:30 in the morning, but it was something, at least.

She looked through the mail as the toaster warmed her breakfast, and slathered it with butter after it popped. She pulled it apart piece by piece and ate it as she flipped through a magazine. She read the rest of her magazine, made a grocery list, and switched a load of laundry before her incision started to bother her again. Her pain meds were on her bedside table, so back up the stairs she went, although more slowly this time.

It was when coming up the stairs that she saw the open door to the nursery, the starting stretch of blue wall that Luke had kicked her out of the house so he could paint because he didn't want her or the baby exposed to the fumes. Like a moth to a flame, she walked through the door. She should clean some of this up. She didn't need it anymore. Could she take the pack and play downstairs? She googled "activity post c-section" and clicked the first article.

" _For the first two weeks, don't lift anything heavier than your baby."_

Lorelai let out a bitter laugh. How much did her baby weigh? How much would he have weighed today, after four days of sleeping, eating and growing? Her laughs quickly turned to tears, and the pain in her abdomen quickly took a backseat to her grief. She looked over to the changing table, the tiny flannel she'd laid out for her son, the son she lost. She looked over to the crib and saw the stuffed dog she'd purchased the day she and Luke realized they would be having a boy. In a fit of misplaced rage, she ripped at the seams of the poorly-sewn stuffed animal and tossed the parts carelessly to either side of the room, leaning against the wall and sliding to the ground as she sobbed into her hands. She wasn't sure how long she had been crying when she heard the front door swing open, followed by Luke's boots up the stairs.

"Lorelai… Lorelai," Luke said as he entered the room, crossing it quickly and getting on the ground next to her. "What happened to you?"

"I'm sorry, Luke. I'm sorry." Lorelai cried out.

"No, Lorelai. No, Shh. Come here," he said, moving to wrap his arms around her.

"Luke, I'm so sorry." She apologized again.

"You didn't do anything wrong, Lorelai. You know that. You've got to know that," he tried to console her.

"No, Luke. You've given me everything. Every ridiculous, annoying, absurd thing I've ever asked for, you've given me. You've never asked me for anything. But you wanted this, you wanted this and I wanted to give it to you. I wanted to give it to you so bad, Luke. I really did. I don't want you to have to make sacrifices like this for me. I bet Rachel or Nicole would be able-"

"Woah, woah, Lorelai. You're talking crazy right now. Take a deep breath, please, before you work yourself up to a panic attack." Lorelai hesitantly obeyed, breathing in and out slowly. "Lorelai, I know you're upset. I'm upset, too. But you've got to know that I'm not angry with you. This is not your fault. I mean, do you really think I'd go back to Nicole? You know better than anyone that that was one of the worst decisions I've ever made."

"But what about Rachel? I bet Rachel can have beautiful, thin, redheaded babies. You were going to marry Rachel. Rachel was the love of your life!" Luke cut her off with a brief kiss.

" _You_ are the love of my life." He corrected.

"Yeah?" Lorelai asked softly, and Luke was shocked. After all this time, how could she not know?

"Yeah." he answered softly. "Lorelai… I know it's hard to even think about right now, but we can try again when-"

"No, Luke. No, we can't. I can't do this again. I'm holding it together, because I have a baby out there in the world who needs me, and because I have you. But I can't do this again, I wouldn't be able to hold myself together." She let out a watery chuckle. "I'm barely holding it together. I know that's selfish of me, and if you want to see other-" Luke cut her off again.

"Lorelai, I picked you." He told her.

"Well, I know. A million years ago when we still had time and all the hope in the world-" Lorelai started, but Luke cut her off once more.

"Lorelai, I picked you. I love you. I picked you because I love you- I love your snow walks and your crazy dog and your kid and your dedication to your work and all of the other things that make you you. I did not choose you because of your ability or willingness to make a child. I picked you because I love you. I'm not leaving you over this, or over anything else that might come up in the future. This is a bump in the road, not a split, okay? I am not leaving you. I am not leaving. This is my life, this is my home, you are my choice. Please believe that."

"I do. I believe you." Lorelai told him.

"What motivated you to come in here?" He asked.

"What are you even doing home?" She asked at the same time.

"I hadn't heard from you all day. I was nervous. I wanted to check on you." He explained.

"Clearly you have good instincts." Lorelai said sadly.

"Lorelai-" He started, but she answered his question before he even spoke it.

"I was having such a good day, Luke. I got out of bed. I put on real clothes. I ate breakfast. I even did laundry. I made a grocery list. I was headed upstairs for pain meds and a shower, and the door was open, and well, you've pretty much seen the rest."

Luke leaned over and kissed Lorelai on the side of her head. "Thank you for not giving up. I know it would be easier. But thank you."

"Thank you for not giving up on me."

"It was never an option."


	25. Chapter 25

The next few days were hard, to say the least. But every day, Lorelai got out of bed, put on clothes, and managed to do something, even if it was minimal, like doing a load of laundry or taking Paul Anka for a walk. Only a couple of nights after Luke had gone back to work, he was laying in bed with Lorelai, who seemed a little off. Of course, nothing about either of their lives right now was exactly normal, but this felt especially different. After thinking about it for a few moments, Luke spoke up.

"Lorelai?" He asked, turning his head to look at her.

"Yeah?" She asked, diverting her attention from the evening news and looking over at him.

"Are you feeling okay? I mean, I know things are weird right now, but considering… Are you feeling, you know, relatively okay?" He asked.

"Yeah, hon. I'm good." She smiled unconvincingly.

"You're not a very good liar, you know." Luke accused lightheartedly, but not wanting her to bottle her emotions.

"Hey, Rory believed in the Easter Bunny until she was 12, so that's got to be good for something." Lorelai defended herself equally as teasingly, but when she saw the look Luke was shooting towards her, she knew he wasn't just looking to banter. She sighed. "It's stupid." She said, looking down at her hands, which were folded in her lap.

"It's not stupid," Luke defended immediately.

"You don't even know what it is. How can you know that it's not stupid?" She pointed out.

"Because I know you." He told her. "I know you're not stupid. I know you're hurting right now, and that it's your instinct to shut me out, but Lorelai, I want to help you, here. We're a team, right? So let me help you." Luke pleaded.

"I'm just not really feeling like a mom right now." Lorelai confessed, and Luke was admittedly confused. Seeing the look on his face, Lorelai clarified. "You know, I was ready to bring home a baby and be his mommy. Rory hasn't needed a mommy in a few years-"

"Rory will always need you." Luke corrected.

"Yeah, but it's different now. She's a grown up. I'm her mom, not her mommy." Lorelai clarified. "When she's here, I get to be mommy and listen to gossip and have movie nights and eat junk food. When she's out on her own, I'm mom. We talk when we can, wax poetic about how much we miss each other, and tell ourselves we're going to call more, which we never have time to do. It's different." Lorelai explained. "I just kind of wish Rory was here. I just want to be somebody's mommy right now." Lorelai admitted, and Luke sighed.

"If I tell you something right now, you need to promise not to get mad at me. I'm trading information for immunity." He said seriously.

"Immunity granted." She replied, curious of the information he could be withholding.

"Rory's in the apartment." Luke confessed. "She didn't want to go back to DC, and she's an adult, so I didn't make her. I couldn't make her. But, anyways, Rory's right down the road, so you're one phone call away from being somebody's mommy." He told her.

"Oh my god, Luke!" Lorelai exclaimed, and for a second, he thought that he had blown it and she was furious. That was until she clarified. "What are you still doing here? Go get her!"

"Hey, I thought we agreed to no yelling?" He accused of her.

"Uh, no." She disagreed. "We said I couldn't be angry with you," She clarified. "Which I'm totally not. I'm super duper happy with you. All the reasons why I love you just came flooding back to me. But I'll love you even more when you bring my baby home." She smiled, and Luke smiled back.

"That's a good look for you. I like to see you happy," He told her, kissing her briefly as he pulled on his shoes. "I'll be right back." He said, trotting down the stairs and to his truck, turning his key in the ignition and calling Rory as he drove to the diner, letting him know that he was coming to get her so she could spend some time with her mother. Rory rushed to pack a bag and Luke knocked gently before entering the apartment, finding Rory buzzing around while Jess sat calmly on the couch with a book.

"Oh, Luke, yay!" Rory said excitedly. "I can't wait to be home."

Luke chuckled. "You are so like your mother." He told her.

"In all the best ways," She smiled as she slipped by him with her bag, presumably heading down towards the truck.

"Hey, Jess?" Luke tried now that they were alone.

"Yeah?" Jess answered as he stuck a bookmark in his book and set it on the table next to the couch.

"Would it be alright if I crashed here tonight?" He asked.

"It's your apartment," Jess reminded him, smirking so his uncle knew that he was only teasing.

"I just think that-" Luke started, but Jess cut him off.

"Trust me, I get it. She's been going crazy, too. Of course you can stay the night. This will be good for them. They need this." Jess summed up what Luke was about to say.

"You're a good guy, Jess." Luke commended his nephew.

"Trying to be." Jess deflected.

"Well, I'll be back soon," Luke said before heading back down to the truck where Rory was waiting impatiently.

"I could have walked home by now," She complained teasingly as he revved the engine and took her home.

"Sure, but were you going to lug that suitcase with you?" Luke asked, gesturing to the mammoth piece of luggage Rory had carried throughout the Obama campaign.

"Oh, absolutely not," Rory agreed. "Hence, me still being in the car when you got down. Finally." She said as he parked in front of her childhood home.

"I'll get your bag. You go on up to your mom," he told her as he made his way to the bed of the trunk to retrieve her belongings.

By the time he made his way upstairs, Lorelai and Rory were already snuggled up to one another in bed, watching a movie. The sight warmed his heart. He crossed the room and leaned down to plant a kiss on Lorelai's forehead.

"I'm gonna head out," He whispered, and she turned to look at him.

"Where are you going?" She asked.

"Just back to the apartment," he answered.

"Oh, Luke. I didn't want to kick you out of your own house. I can go downstairs-" Rory started to get out of bed but Luke interrupted her.

"It was your house, first. Plus, if you're here, who's going to watch Jess?" He teased, and she smiled.

"Hey, I spent almost a week with him and didn't push him in the lake once. He's not too bad." Rory smiled, and Luke nodded.

"You two girls have a good night. Come in for breakfast tomorrow, yeah?" He asked of them.

"I'm sorry, what year is this? I'm going to bed in this house with my daughter, but otherwise alone, and we're going to the diner in the morning to get breakfast and see her boyfriend. Is this 2002? Because it sure feels like 2002." Lorelai ranted.

"Goodnight, crazy lady."

"Goodnight, handsome. I'll see you in the morning."


	26. Chapter 26

The next morning, Rory and Lorelai went to the diner as requested, but Lorelai stopped short before going through the door. Rory turned to look back at her mother.

"You coming in?" She asked sarcastically.

"Why don't we eat upstairs? Less noisy." Lorelai offered as a suggestion.

"Mom, I've been cooped up there for days." Rory rejected.

"Please?" Lorelai whined. "I'm not ready to share you yet. You go in and place our orders and I'll head upstairs."

"You're lucky you birthed me so I can't say no to you," Rory grumbled as she went into the diner.

"Oh, don't I know it!" Lorelai smiled as she walked around to the back of the diner and headed up the stairs into Luke's old apartment.

Inside the diner, Luke's face lit up when he saw Rory walk in, and he quickly started looking around for Lorelai, to no avail. Jess had already started pouring a cup of coffee for Rory, but Luke walked over anyway.

"Where's your mom?" He asked, interrupting their morning greeting.

"She went upstairs. She wanted to have breakfast up there, instead. I just came to put our orders in." Rory explained as Jess walked off to deliver a few plates and she took her first sip of coffee.

"You two have any plans for the day? You and your mom?" Luke asked, suspicious but trying not to show his hand, at least not yet.

"None to speak of," Rory answered succinctly. "Probably just lounging around the house, watching movies. Pop tarts. Red vines. You know us. It's kind of our thing. Tomorrow's her first day back at work, right?" Rory asked casually.

"Supposed to be," Luke murmured, and Rory gave him a questioning look.

"What's the grumbling about?" She asked.

"She's barely been out of the house in the past week." Luke answered. "I'm not upset or anything, but she drives Paul Anka over to the dog park in Litchfield to walk him. She hasn't come into the diner once. She's barely even talked to Sookie. I'm just nervous for her, is all. Withdrawing like this isn't in her nature." Luke explained.

"Luke, she just went through a huge trauma. We all did. I wouldn't be all that surprised if she wasn't up to being the peppy, bubbly, Lorelai Gilmore this town has come to expect from her." Rory pointed out.

"So you don't think I should do anything about it?" Luke asked.

"I didn't say that," Rory corrected. "I don't think it's unusual but I still think you should talk to her about it." She elaborated. "Go. I can sit here and wait for our pancakes." She smiled, encouraging him to go upstairs. He nodded to her and made his way to the staircase, taking the steps two at a time but still knocking when he got to the door. When he didn't hear an answer after moment, he swung the door open, worried something had happened. He found her sitting at the table, knees tucked into her chest, fiddling with her thumbs while her arms were wrapped around her folded legs.

"Lorelai?" Luke asked gently, and Lorelai looked up immediately.

"What're you doing up here?" She asked quickly, placing her feet back on the ground and her arms at her sides.

"Just wanted to talk to you," he told her softly."Is that alright?"

"You should go back downstairs, babe. Middle of the breakfast rush," Lorelai tried to deflect, smiling at him to try and tell him that everything was fine even though they both knew that it wasn't.

"I don't care about the diner and you know it." He refused to let her deny him.

"Of course you care about the diner. It's your diner. You own it. You've spent the last 23 years running this diner. I care about the inn that i've only spent 6 years running, so I know you care-" She tried to rant to delay the inevitable, but Luke cut her off.

"Lorelai," He said simply, and Lorelai knew all her deflecting and avoiding was useless. She wasn't getting out of this one. Luke loved her too much to let her out of it. "Are you sure you're ready to go back to work tomorrow?" He asked, and Lorelai answered immediately.

"Of course I'm ready, Luke. It's my inn. It needs me." She told him.

"Your name being on the deed doesn't make you any more ready." He argued.

"Luke," She pleaded.

"Lorelai, I'm just worried about you. You haven't talked to anybody in this town for the past week but you're ready to go back to work? And I don't just mean physically ready. Are you emotionally ready? Because it doesn't feel like you are. And that's fine, Lorelai. I just want to help you." He asked of her.

"You're right.I'm not ready, Luke. I'm not ready to face this town without a baby in my arms. I'm not ready for all of their condolences. But none of the guests at the inn are going to know that I was pregnant, and I had planned on locking myself in my office and working on paperwork, anyhow." Lorelai admitted, looking at her lap.

"Lorelai," Luke started, but Lorelai stood up and started pacing away from him.

"I know, Luke. I know. It's not healthy, and you're concerned for me, and quite frankly I'm concerned for me, too, but this just is what it is right now, okay? I'm doing my best right now, and it's not ideal, but right now my best is hiding in my office and hoping nobody I know shows up at work. That's the best I can do right now." She ranted, turning back to look at him.

"Do you at least feel like you're getting better?" He asked softly, and she took a moment before she responded.

"Yeah," She whispered back.

"Yeah?" He asked, not sure if she really was or if she just wanted to tell him what he knew he wanted to hear.

"Yeah," She confirmed. "I mean, it hurts. And it might always hurt a little. But it's starting to hurt less. So. yeah. I mean, not that I'm over it, but little by little it's getting easier to pretend it's easier, so easier must be just around the corner." She admitted, rubbing the toe of her shoe against the tile of the floor.

Sensing that she needed the comfort, Luke wrapped Lorelai in his arms and kissed the top of her head, whispering to her a promise of all the time she needed.


	27. Chapter 27

The next day, Lorelai kissed her daugher goodbye, for real this time, and sent her off to the airport with her boyfriend before heading to work. She didn't make a stop at Luke's: he'd set a pot of coffee to brew for her, and she was running late due to her inability to physically remove her arms from her daughter's torso. Rory had offered to stay, genuinely, and numerous times, but Lorelai insisted she go. Yes, it was hard. But if Lorelai was going back to work, surely it was time for Rory to go to. So she kissed her daughter goodbye and gave her almost-nephew, potentially-someday-far-far-in-the-future son-in-law a good natured hug before she sent them back to the lives they had abandoned to take care of her, making them promise to call as they got to their respective destinations safely. She filled a travel mug that she likely would not drink from with Luke's coffee, substituting it for the paper cup with his logo, knowing full well that even if she had had time to stop in and see her handsome man, she wouldn't have made it through the doorway. Once she got settled at her desk, she picked up the telephone from the corner of her desk where it resided and dialed the diner's number, waiting for the familiar bark of Luke's voice.

"Luke's," the sound rang out, tried and true.

"Hey, it's me." Lorelai said softly, testing out the volume of her own voice as if she wasn't surrounded by four relatively thick walls.

"Are you okay?" He asked, softening immediately.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I just got to work. I know you well enough to know that you're probably on edge and burning everything because you're stressed about me, so I figured I'd call and let you know I got to work okay so you could stop burning stuff. The kitchen is really Sookie's domain, but from what I've gathered working here people don't really like to eat burnt food."

"Like Sookie would ever send out a burnt dish," Luke scoffed playfully, and Lorelai let out a soft chuckle.

"I've been gone for so long, I'm talking crazy." Lorelai agreed.

"Not so long," Luke disagreed. "If you need to take more time-"

"No, Luke." Lorelai cut off, smiling sadly although he couldn't see it. "I mean, I'm already here, so I did the hard part. Washing my hair and everything," She teased, and she heard Luke sigh. "Really, Luke. I'm good. It's time. I just wanted you to know that I was good."

"Thank you for calling. Ceasar banned me from my own kitchen." Luke told her.

"How dare he! It's your kitchen and you'll burn eggs if you want to!"

"He did it for my own benefit, I think. Or, at the very least, the customer's benefit." Luke defended.

"Oh, well, then I guess we'll have to spare him." She decided.

"You know that I hate how hard this is for you, right?" He asked, changing the subject abruptly.

"I thought for a moment that you might be taking some secret pleasure out of it, but I know better." She answered sarcastically.

"Seriously, Lorelai. You know that I'd do anything to fix this for you, right?'

"I know. You should get going. It's got to be the middle of the rush. Come see me in a lull?"

"Try and keep me away." He said before they exchanged goodbyes.

Sighing as she put the phone back on it's base, Lorelai opened up the top drawer of her desk to grab a pen, but felt something stuck in the drawer that was starting to rip. Concerned it was an important file, she snaked her hand into the drawer to detach it, feeling the glossy tone of photo paper. After freeing it, she flipped it over, running a finger over the now-severed corner before looking at the photograph.

Her breath caught in her throat: the picture was a little over a year old, from last December. Sookie had given it to her a few months ago, having found a disposable camera and developing it without knowing it's contents. It was Lorelai's house, Christmas morning. Luke and Lorelai sat on the couch, his arm wrapped around her shoulder. Luke was turned away from her and towards his nephew; Jess must have cracked a joke, because their heads were extended towards each other in laughter. In front of the couch, Rory was reading the back cover of some new book with April, no doubt giving her almost-younger-sister her glowing review of a book she'd read to pass time on the campaign trail. Lorelai was leaned into the two girls, smiling as she appreciated their back-and-forth and their obvious sisterly love for one another.

In the present day, Lorelai felt a tear run down her cheek and for the first time in what felt like forever, she didn't want to will it back into her eye. She smiled as she wiped the tear away and reached for the frame on her desk, stopping short when she recognized an ultrasound picture of Benjamin. Smiling again, she gently pulled the ultrasound picture out of the frame and tucked it safely into a non-picture-eating drawer. She placed the Christmas photo against the glass and replaced the frame, smiling at the beautiful family, the beautiful life she and Luke had together, She swallowed quickly, setting to work on the invoices that needed to get done that morning. Around 10:30, she swung her office door open and took a little bit of pleasure in watching Michel's eyebrows hit his hairline when she appeared.

"How many checkouts are we expecting this morning?" Lorelai asked brightly.

"Lorelai, I certainly can handle this if there is any more pressing paperwork-" Michel tried to give Lorelai an out, but she wouldn't let him.

"No, Michel. This is our routine. When I'm here, we split checkouts. I know you've picked up a lot of slack here recently, and I appreciate it, but I'm back now, okay?" She smiled. Michel knew better than to fight with her and simply smiled, rerouting his attention to a guest. After the checkout rush had ended, she saw Luke appear through the doorway.

"Lorelai," He said, clearly surprised to see her out of her office.

"Luke." She said plainly, smiling up at him. It was reaching her eyes, he noticed.

"I thought you were just working on paperwork today," He asked.

"I finished it," she shrugged. "Come into my office. I want to show you something." She told him.

"I brought you a coffee," He told her, placing the to-go cup in her hand, but not showing any surprise when she didn't immediately drink it. She hadn't had any coffee since everything had happened, but he knew eventually she'd want a cup. Who was Lorelai Gilmore if not a caffeine addict?

"I found this in my desk today," She said, extending the frame to him.

"It's a nice picture." He smiled, looking at the daughter he raised and the daughter he created and loving how well they got along just as much as Lorelai did.

"That's our family. That's our life. I love that picture. I love that life. That's it. That's what we've got, and I think it's pretty damn good."

"I concur," Luke smiled.

"And do I wish Ben was a part of it? Yeah. Of course I do. But this is the life we were meant to have. I'm not going to spend it being sad all the time."

"Yeah?" Luke asked hopefully, smiling at Lorelai.

"Yeah," she smiled back softly. "I'll still be sad sometimes. I think I earned that. But, you know. On the whole, things are good." She summarized as she took a sip of her coffee.

"Things are incredible." Luke agreed, wrapping his arms around her waist to give her a kiss.


	28. Chapter 28

That night, Luke and Lorelai shared a quiet dinner together in their home, but for the first time in over a week, it wasn't wrought with the thick tension of loss and grief. It was two people who loved each other so much that no more needed to be said: they sat together, they ate, they washed the dishes, and headed upstairs to settle in for some television before bed. All was well, and completely normal. Right up until Lorelai took a sharp left at the top of the stairs, instead of walking straight ahead into the bedroom she shared with Luke. Instead of changing into her comfy PJ's and settling next to the love of her life for a night of re-runs, she turned left and pushed open the door to the now-neglected nursery. She took a small step inside, taking in the pale blue walls, the white crib, the changing table that matched, and the rocking chair that Luke had built for her.

"I can take care of this stuff some other time. I'll get rid of it." Luke said, suddenly appearing behind her and putting a comforting hand on her shoulder.

"No," Lorelai said softly.

"No?" Luke questioned. "You said you didn't want to-"

"I can't try again. It's not that I don't want to." Lorelai corrected gently. "But that's not the point. When I moved here at 16, nearly everything I got for Rory was stuff Mia had saved from her daughter. Maybe it sounds crazy, but if some girl wanders into the Dragonfly with a baby like I did 20 some-odd years ago, I want to be ready. I want her to have what she needs."

"That's the least crazy thing I've ever heard you say." He told her.

"What about 'I love you?'" She asked.

"That's pretty crazy. I'm pretty gruff and grumbly, you know. Not super personable or loveable."

"Gruff and grumbly and loveable." Lorelai corrected.

"Glad you think so." Luke smiled, wrapping his arms around her waist from behind and planting a kiss on her head. "I'll pack all this stuff up the next time I have the day off."

"No, I want to do this too. This is gonna be hard for both of us. The least we can do is help each other sort through it."

"You know it's against my nature to let you do anything I think is going to hurt for you."

"So is the protective streak permanently a mile wilder than it was before all of this, or is it going to work its way back to normal?"

Luke responded at first by wrapping his arms more tightly around her waist. "Lorelai, I almost lost you. You promised me I could go first, so someday a long, long time from now, you'll understand fractionally what I felt when they started wheeling you away from me. I really thought I might never see you again," he told her, starting to choke up.

"Oh, Luke." She said, turning in his arms to look up at him and putting her hands on either of his face. "I'm here, baby. Look at me. I'm right here." She reminded him, rising to her tiptoes to plant a kiss on his lips.

"I know. I have thanked God every day that you're here. Those were the worst hours of my life, Lorelai. With my parents we knew it was coming, but you and I. We had so much time left. Too much time left, you couldn't leave yet."

"You're not getting rid of me that easy, mister."

"Don't want to." He told her simply. "So, yeah. The protective streak is wider. And it's probably going to stay that way. You took about 10 years off my life that day. I don't need you crashing your car or skydiving any time soon." He explained.

"Well, the cesarean scar prevents me from jumping out of a plane, so you're covered there. And I promise to wear my seatbelt."

"I guess that's the best I can ask for."

"Come on, let's go get comfy." Lorelai smiled gently, tugging Luke's arm and redirecting him back to the bedroom. He followed her, as he always would, and they changed into their pajamas and settled into bed lazily.

"I want to keep the rocking chair," Lorelai murmured, looking up at Luke.

"Yeah?" He asked, looking down to make eye contact with her.

"Yeah. You made it for me. We can put it on the porch. Maybe you can make another and we can be that annoying couple who rocks back and forth all day long, shouting at kids to get off of their lawn but waiting for grandbabies to spoil." Lorelai imagined dreamily.

"Grandbabies?" Luke asked, quirking an eyebrow at her. "No grandbabies."

"Well, not now." Lorelai agreed.

"Rory's way too young to be thinking about any of that." Luke said gruffly.

"Well, Jess isn't exactly collecting Social security, either." Lorelai remarked.

"No, but-" Luke started, and Lorelai smiled.

"I know, babe. Rory's still got the angel wings and the dead caterpillar in a matchbox." She agreed. "But she's 24. 5 years from now she'll probably be married. We might have a grandkid. It's something to think about.

"April will be 21." Luke murmured. "You sure there's nothing we can do to make them stay kids forever?" He asked.

"Nothing legal," Lorelai responded simply. "Trust me, if there was a way, I would have found it by now."

"I believe you." Luke told her. "I don't like it, though."

"When is April coming up next?" Lorelai asked.

"Well, she was going to come up on her next break, but if you're not feeling up to it-"

"No, Luke. She's your daughter. She's coming. This is just as much her home as it is ours. If she wants to come, she's coming."

"Okay," Luke said simply, trying to quell her. "She's coming, then. That Saturday through the Tuesday, she'll fly back to New Mexico Wednesday afternoon."

"She asked Rory to give her a tour of Yale." Lorelai mentioned.

"That's good. That's really good." Luke smiled, kissing the top of her head before turning off his lamp for the night.


	29. Chapter 29

"It's too cold. Come back," Lorelai murmured, not even opening her eyes to the pre-dawn light as she felt Luke roll away from her, rolling forward herself and extending her arm around him to stop him from getting out of bed.

"I've got to shower." He told her tiredly, moving his chin to kiss her arm where it was closest to his lips.

"No, I'm not letting you go. It's too early to get out of bed." Lorelai protested weakly, closing her eyes even tighter as if this could get him back to sleep as well.

"I have to open," He explained, rolling back towards her to kiss her soundly, running a hand through her hair as he did so. "Your hair's really soft." He commented. He kissed her again, wrapping his arms around her waist. "Mmm, you're warm," He remarked.

"That's right. Soft hair, warm girl, comfy bed. Don't go." Lorelai tried to lure him.

"I wish I didn't have to." Luke told her. "You're cute when you're half asleep like this."

"Cuter when I'm talking a mile a minute?" She asked.

"Sure," He told her. "I need to take a shower, so you should probably join me. For purposes of conserving water, of course."

"Oh, yeah. Water conservation. Of course. Wouldn't want to be an environmental plight, like a golf course. The shower sharing is for purely non selfish reasons." Lorelai agreed, smiling as she allowed Luke to help her out of the bed and peel off her clothes, then returning the favor until both of their pajamas were strewn in a careless path from the bed to the interior of the bathroom.

"Just wait until the water's warm enough. I'll show you how non selfish I can be," He teased, pulling her into the warm water with him.

Lorelai had been lulled into a satisfied sleep after her shower, and awoke again a few hours later, rolling over to find a blue sticky note on the bedside table left behind by Luke. "Come in for breakfast?" It read. A question, not a demand. But she would do it anyway, she decided. She rolled out of bed, figuring that even with a pair of leggings, his flannel that he had thrown on after their shower was not appropriate outerwear. She pulled a more appropriate outfit out of the closet and threw it on quickly, as if she didn't trust herself to get moving and get out the door if given time to think about it. She went to the bathroom and faced the mirror, taming her bed-wild curls and applying a little makeup to her eyes. She wasn't entirely with it as she finished getting ready and walking to the diner, instead letting her mind wander to thoughts of work, of Rory and of Jess, and her parents.

Sooner than she expected, she made it to the door of the diner. She'd never really paused to look at it before. The white paint was faded and chipping at some places. She made a mental note to tell Luke she'd notice it. He hated sprucing, sure, but she also knew he put a lot of value and pride in the appearance of the diner, and why shouldn't he? She had just as much pride in the appearance of the inn. Besides, this was nothing a simple coat of paint wouldn't fix, and she loved to break out the painting songs. She peered through the glass panes and saw all the usual suspects, Patty, Babette, Morey and Kirk, namely. Just at the right moment, Luke looked up from the spot of counter he was scrubbing and caught her eye. He gave her a quick smile of reassurance and then walked away from the counter to refill coffee cups, and Lorelai smiled back even as he walked away, knowing that the space he was giving her meant just as much as the support.

Slowly, carefully, but confidently, Lorelai swung the diner door open, expecting some greater impact than the gentle thud of the door against the stopper in the interior of the diner. There was none. She breathed out a sigh of relief. Smiling, she went to take her normal stool at the end of the counter, remembering a time when the rounded curve of her stomach prevented her from sitting there, but chasing away that memories with brighter ones: shared card games on nights Luke had to close, many, many, many good morning kisses always punctuated with a cup of coffee. Things were more good than bad.

"Lorelai, dear," Mrs. Patty said from behind her.

"Good morning Mrs. Patty," Lorelai said brightly as she turned to face Ms. Patty, praying that the gossip mill hadn't sent her on a fact-finding mission.

"We've missed seeing that beautiful face out and about, sweetheart. Promise us you won't hide away forever?"

"Oh, I promise not to return to my cave for another 32 years or so." Lorelai bantered in response.

"Good to have you back with us, dear." Patty smiled and returned to her seat.

Just then, Luke appeared with a coffee mug in one hand and a carafe full of the sweet elixir of life in the other. He poured the coffee into the cup and slid it towards her, practically beaming.

"If you aren't careful, you're gonna lose your tough guy reputation."

"Don't care," he said gruffly and a little more true to form. "I'm not embarrassing you, am I?" He asked with a bit more genuine concern.

"No, babe. It is nice to know that my presence isn't completely revolting to you," she teased, raising the mug to her lips and taking a deep sip, closing her eyes and relishing in the taste. Luke's coffee just tasted better in Luke's Diner.

"How's it feel?" Luke asked softly.

"Feels like coming home," Lorelai smiled.


	30. Chapter 30

Lorelai had almost taken the day of April 19th off. Well, actually, she had taken it off, because it was her due date. But when she was taking her maternity leave out of the books for the Dragonfly, she almost left April 19th. As a personal day, of course, because it would no longer be maternity leave. It would be a hard day, and it would probably be easier to just sit in bed and will it away by not acknowledging its existence.

Acknowledged or not, April 19th was happening. It was happening all around her as she stirred awake that morning, surprised to find Luke still lying next to her. Knowing without a doubt that he'd be awake by now, she murmured.

"Diner," a one-word question.

"I'm going in late this morning. Didn't want you to wake up alone today."

"Didn't have to do that," she said quietly, still waking up. "I'm going into work."

"I'll go in when you go in." He told her quietly, trying to appease her but not willing to sacrifice her comfort.

"Thank you," She whispered, trying to appreciate the gesture without making a big deal of it.

"Come on downstairs. I'll make breakfast. The coffee's already on." He told her, gently pulling her with him out of bed.

"Mmm, how is a girl supposed to say no to that?" Lorelai smiled, rolling out of bed with him and letting him place his hand on the small of her back as they walked down the stairs.

Lorelai sat at the kitchen table while Luke made their breakfast, the calm silence broken by the first piece of bacon sizzling in the pan. After eating and taking care of the dishes, Lorelai leaned over to plant a quick kiss on Luke's cheek.

"I'm going to jump in the shower and head to work. Thank you for breakfast. I'll see you tonight?" She asked.

"I should be home after the dinner rush."

"Okay babe, have a good day," Lorelai called, about to head up the stairs when she heard a knock at the door. A bit puzzled, she turned around and walked over to the front door to answer it, swinging it open to reveal Rory and April, with Jess coming up the porch stairs not far behind.

"What are you guys doing here?" Lorelai asked, surprised.

From the other room, Luke heard Lorelai's voice, and headed towards the foyer, wondering what the fuss was about.

"We're all playing hooky." April explained, shooting her almost-stepmother an apologetic smile.

"April," Luke said, surprised to see her in the doorway. "Does your mother know you're here?"

"Yes, Dad." April groaned playfully. "I'm not on the lamb this time."

"Well then it's not really hooky for you, is it?" Lorelai teased.

"It's not really hooky for you two, either." Rory began to explain. "Considering we called both of your places of work and told Sookie and Caesar not to expect you."

"You sneaky kids!" Lorelai exclaimed, but her bright smile made it clear that she couldn't be further from angry.

"We're pretty conniving when we've got to be," Jess concurred.

"Well get in here." Luke interrupted, stepping aside to let them in. "You must have been up at the crack of dawn." Luke said, stepping out of the way so the younger generation could enter.

"Not only were we up before the sun, but Jess wouldn't even let us stop for coffee!" Rory exclaimed, looking at her mother, who she knew would understand the gravity of the situation.

"You were the one who wanted to make it here before 9:30," Jess reminded her, and Luke and Lorelai hung back as the good-spirited argument continued into the living room.

"You feel a little bit better about the day now?" Luke asked quietly.

"All our babies are here. It's a great day." Lorelai smiled at him.

 _ **A/N: As much as I don't want to admit it to myself, this is the end! Thank you to all of my consistent reviewers. I think I will leave this story open and occasionally drop in with a quick one-shot covering other events in the nine years this universe covers. I hope you enjoyed!**_


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